As school feels like it started two minutes ago we’re already on week four. How did this happen? Where did the time go? Honestly, I’m not sure. With assignments, tests and papers being handed out so often with such a huge turn around, it’s hard to lose track of everything. However, one thing I have yet to lose track of is my anxiety. Oh, that over present, annoying beast.
College is challenging for everyone but college with anxiety is another world. With all your assignments and tests your being given you want to make sure everything is done 100% right, without any mistakes. Well, that’s impossible says the logical brain but in the heat of the moment, when my anxiety takes over my brain, it’s not only possible, it’s expected.
Be perfect. Be perfect all the time. No mistakes. Everything has to be done correctly or else you’re a failure. I just can’t follow that logic. This is life. It’s meant to be full of mistakes otherwise how would we learn? How would grow?
Something I’ve learned the past couple weeks is that there’s a gift that comes with failure. It’s a humbling experience. At the same time it can be relieving. Give yourself the expectation of always being perfect can become unbelievably stressful. So when we fail it can be like “Wow. Glad that’s over. That was really stressing me out.” But this only comes after hours of stressing over the fact that you weren’t perfect.
When life gets busy it’s hard to keep my anxiety in check. It becomes this beast that is fed by assignments and responsibilities, but more importantly my expectation for myself for those responsibilities.
It’s a challenge. I get through it by telling myself that I’m only human. I can do what I can do and after that I need to let it go and move on. I know, a lot easier said than done. The more I start the get ahold of my anxiety the more I’m able to push myself. When I let go of my anxiety I’m fearless. When I’m fearless, I open doors I never knew where on my journey.
