Why I Am Happy I Haven't Found My Prince Charming

Why I Am Happy I Haven't Found My Prince Charming

and why you should be too.
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From the day I watched Cinderella, I have always dreamed of growing up and finding my prince charming. The first board I made on Pinterest was a (private) wedding board.

To say that I am excited to meet the “love of my life,” get married, eat toast with this man in our jammies, have kids, and fingers crossed grow old together, would be a very underwhelming word to describe how I feel.

After experiencing my first year in college, I didn’t meet this man (at least that I know of, please contact if you are aware).

I wasn’t swept off my feet when I walked into my first class and made eye contact with “the one,” but I did meet my soul mates—not in the way I thought I would.

I met the ones who can make me laugh until my stomach burns.

I met the ones who will drive 50 miles just to celebrate my birthday for a few hours.

I met the ones who will lay in my bed with me while I cry because something tragic happened (or a Grey’s character died).

I met the ones who make weird noises and let me sing at the top of my lungs without wanting to puncture my lungs.

I met the ones who will tell me when I am being absurd when I try to join 50 clubs or am chatting to loud.

I met the ones who say the exact same thing as me at the same time because we are 90 percent sure we have the same brain.

I met my soul mates.

Cheesy. Right?

But it is true.

I discovered that I don’t need this fairytale, princess life that has been instilled in me since I was three. Yes, it would be swell if I could come home to an incredible human being at night, but that isn’t what matters. What matters is finding the ones who keep you sane.

That is what a soul mate is, the one, prince charming, and however else you would describe it. It is the ones who are there for you at 2 a.m. when the world is crashing down around you.

The moment you realize that you don't need a man is quite freeing. I'm not saying this in a "I'm so bitter" way, but more in a "I don't care" way.

Soulmates are friends, not some romantic idea that lives in your imagination.

Having a boyfriend is great and amazing, but don’t ditch the ones who would drop everything to pick you up from the airport. Those are the ones to keep around.

I walked into college *kind of * thinking I would find the one and will walk out with multiple soul mates. How lucky am I that I haven’t found my prince charming, I found a whole slew of Disney characters to help me clean up my life.

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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I Almost Gave Up On Online Dating Until I Finally Found Someone Genuine

It's rare to find someone so extraordinary through a dating app.

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Pretty…handsome…no thanks…I would say these words to myself as I swiped left and right through what felt like a million and one profiles at that point. Tinder, what a crazy app, full of douchey guys who take an endless amount of pictures of their abs and girls who still think that it's attractive to do the duck face. I knew I did not belong on this app because I was nowhere close to looking for "just a hookup, or to party, or smoke weed" with another stranger. Yet here I was looking into dating someone and setting my expectations too high for a 20-year-old.

Once I got a notification that I matched with a tall, blonde and thin guy on Tinder I decided to message him. We ended up going on a couple of dates and eventually became a couple. Sure he was nice, intelligent and handsome, but I did not feel like I connected with him on a personal and soulful level. So after a whole month, I decided to break it off because I knew that the relationship would not escalate into anything greater.

A few months later I decided to try again, this time it was an app designated for women to search for women. I was a little hesitant because I was new to this side of the dating world. I had just come out as bisexual to my family and friends a couple of weeks prior before deciding to download this app. I kept scrolling feeling like a lost puppy, that was until I found a girl.

Once again we messaged each other and met up for our first date. This time I felt a little bit more of a connection and after a few meetups, we decided to date. I felt positive energy and high hopes with her… until I didn't. You see I lost respect for her after she started to treat me poorly and became more selfish than Ebenezer Scrooge. She would make fun of some of the things I did and or said (and not in a cute joking way). My anxiety started to consume me and I knew I was in a toxic relationship at that point. My grades in school started to fall significantly and I started missing class because she required more attention than most. I was focusing so much on her that I was starting to steer away from taking care of myself in nearly every way.

Eventually I lost all feelings for her and made the imperative decision to leave her. I blocked her from social media and my phone. After I did these things I felt myself feel physically lighter, like I could finally put my energy into things that would build me up without anyone dragging me down. My attention went towards things that made me happy such as playing guitar, singing, painting, and writing.

After a short time of self-recovery, I was still wanting to get back into the dating world. I downloaded a couple of more apps, talked to cute guys, and went on dates with them only to realize that while talking to them I still felt unhappy and a little lost.

I decided to give up on these apps completely, but just as I was about to delete one, I received a beautiful message from a gorgeous girl that made my heart skip a beat. A few days later we met up and I thought to myself I'll give this one more chance. The date didn't feel forced; as a matter of fact, I knew that it was the best date that I have ever been on because I found myself smiling nearly the entire time. The conversations flowed and gave me those cheesy butterflies that I haven't felt about anyone in the past. It's not every day that you meet someone who shares similar thoughts and interests as you.

I almost gave up on online dating, but I'm glad I held on just a little while longer because she has to be the sweetest person that I have ever met. We are still talking today and I cannot wait to spend more time with her. She naturally eases my anxiousness just by being herself. We can effortlessly laugh, play music together, make art, dance, and talk endlessly about random topics for hours. That's the kind of love that I want, a selfless one that does not require too much thought but rather a lot of genuine feelings. A love where she can be my best friend and a soulmate. When we feel on top of the world or on rock bottom, I want a love that will last.

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