Ever since I was five years old, I thought I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to grow up and make it big on a Broadway stage one day. For the majority of my life, I was dedicated to theatre. I ate, breathed, and slept theatre. I never knew another way to live my life.

Naturally, as time went on and college life crept up on me, I felt off. I wasn't sure why. Aside from the lingering affects of my assault, there were no real changes in my passion for acting or my major.

The summer after my freshman year, I felt afraid. This fear was completely foreign to me. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to audition. I didn't want to see anyone, to interact with the people in my major, and most importantly, I didn't want to act. I was genuinely praying to not be cast in a show that fall. My heart felt heavy and empty. I didn't know what had come over me.

I had toyed with the thought of changing my major, but I was too afraid to do that either. I never knew a life without theatre. I didn't even know what else I was good at, let alone something else that I would be passionate about or want to devote my life to.

I decided to reach out to an old professor of mine. I knew their blunt honesty and guidance would help me to make a decision. They asked me the simple question, "do you want to be an actor?"

I said no.

"Then what are you doing here?"

I held on too long. Holding on is sometimes even more painful than letting go. The day I decided to change my major, I felt a noticeable weight lifted off of my shoulders. I was no longer constantly in a mental battle with myself. I was no longer questioning my every move and emotion. I was no longer pretending to be someone that I didn't want to be anymore.

Aside from the tumultuous experience of doing a complete 180 with my life's course, I realized that being unapologetic and honest with yourself will often times land you exactly where you need to be.

Like many students, I came to college wanting to recreate myself and rebuild into the person I wanted to be – a person that wasn't who I was in high school. Unfortunately, my first year of college was spent digging myself into a deeper hole of despair and self doubt because I was too afraid to let go. I thought it was too late. That I had already made my decision on my future, and that there was no going back. I knew that it was common for college students to change their major, but I wanted to be different.

It's never too late to change your mind and start over.

It took me a long time to accept the fact that life is unpredictable, and your heart will give you signs that you sometimes want to ignore. I'm still accepting it. And I still have doubts. But trusting yourself, even just a little bit, can go a long way.

You can become whoever you want to be. Don't hold yourself back.