All of our lives we have been taught how to compete. Starting off in Elementary School we were introduced to Spelling Bees, speech competitions, and AR Reading Comprehension tests. We soon got thrown into the world of sports where we strove to outdo our opponents. This competition followed us to the playground, where simple, friendly games of kickball turned into a fight for popularity based on athleticism. Middle school brought this fight for social class to a whole new level as we begged our moms for Hollister clothes so our friends would accept us at their lunch table. So much as an embarrassing laugh could send us straight to the bottom of the food chain. Even in high school, where "things would get better because we were growing up and maturing", if you weren't able to find a group where you belonged, you were dubbed "a floater" and no one would reach out to include you.
Although I've been told that adult life would give way to acceptance and freedom from the chains of competition, I find that to be false. For example, money is a huge determination of where people tend to "belong" in society. From the moment someone sees your house or your car, they already have a predetermination of how much you make, who you spend time with, and what kind of person you are.
Before I go further, I would like to point out that I'm not putting down competition entirely. Competition can be very healthy, in the right context. A familiar example would be the Olympics, where competitors come together to strive for the gold by performing the best they possibly can. One thing we take from the Olympics is this word of advice:
A true winner focuses on outdoing their own record, rather than their opponents.
In my opinion, the most successful athlete is one that focuses on doing better each time they perform or compete, rather than scoping out how to do better than their competitors. We can take this and apply it to our own lives as well.
Are you currently in a comparison competition?
Comparison competition is, under my definition, when you let the successes, image, or ideas of another individual determine your worth. From my previous examples, it is clear that this type of competition has the possibility of existing all of our lives. It is able to creep into almost every aspect of our lives.
I wonder if I make as much as she does in her career. I should have gone to school for that.
He drives that car? I could never afford that.
Wow, they make it to church every single Sunday. That family must have it all together.
Maybe if I dieted enough, I could have her perfect stomach.
These are just a slim few examples of the millions of times in our lives where that voice in our head tells us we are not enough because of our perception of another person. Let me tell you a few things. One, your perception of another person's life is probably much different than it actually is. They may be thinking the same things about your life--that you have it perfect and never experience strife. Two, you will never win in a game of comparison competition. There will always be someone you think looks better than you, has more money than you, has a more put-together family than you or even has a nicer personality than you do. Three, these thoughts will not go away if you spend your life trying to prove them wrong. By looking at others as a way to determine your life, you will constantly be chasing after an unreachable goal.
You are you. They are them. These are two facts you cannot change, no matter how hard you try. If you're looking to be better than anyone in this world, be better than your past self. If you go about each day asking yourself, "What can I do today that will better myself and make me into a more successful person?", you will be much happier. Not only that, but realistically, this is a much more attainable, rewarding goal. It takes you out of that constant loop of never being enough, to a point where you appreciate the work you have done to get to where you are.
A true successful person focuses on outdoing their past self, rather than the people around them.
