When you think of someone with depression, what comes to mind?
Do you picture someone sad all the time? Mopes around? Doesn't have many friends? Likes to be alone? Is quiet? Reserved?
Granted depending on how each person deals with their depression they may have some of these symptoms or find that some of those traits work for them.
But for most people dealing with depression, they act quite the opposite of what the stereotype is.
It may actually surprise you but some of the "happiest" people you may know have depression!
Surprise!
The ones that tend to be the goofy, loud ones, maybe a class clown, even those who try to make other people laugh or smile are the ones with depression.
People like Robin Williams, Owen Wilson and Jim Carrey all battle depression and are some of the funniest people there have been. Most of the comedians we know are probably depressed.
"Why is that?" Glad you asked!
When you have a mental illness like depression... it is like being in darkness all the time. We are unable to feel what true joy is. Not that it is by choice, but what people don't realize is that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain.We can't just make ourselves better with a flip of a switch.
However, one way that people with depression have learned to cope, is to make other people happy. We may not be able to control our own happiness, but we can sure try to help other people feel what we can't.
We want to live in the light. We don't enjoy living in the dark. But the closet that we feel to being in the light is being able to be a light for others.
People with depression thrive around other people. We spend hours out of their day being outgoing, trying to smile and laugh. Because for those hours while they are surrounded by others, we can hide the fact that they are depressed. For those hours we feel normal, and we can forget about the demon that is inside us.
Depression is hard... it is an everyday battle that we can't escape. No matter how long we have that mask on, of being the class clown or life of the party, as soon as we are alone in our car, or go home and sit in our rooms, we feel nothing. We have no energy, no desire to do anything. We could lay there for hours and just do nothing. When we are alone we are numb.
"But you were just having a great day! You were having a great time! I don't understand"
Trust me, neither do we. We could have a perfect day, and that would not change the fact that the moment no one is looking we are dead inside. Or at least feel that way.
This article isn't to make you feel bad for us. Because that is the last thing that we want. We don't talk about our depression or act depressed, well because, THAT'S DEPRESSING! We feel depressed enough that we don't want y'all feeling sad for us or acting differently.
We are the outgoing people you see day to day for a reason. But that doesn't mean that we are faking our depression. It means that we are faking the smiles.
"Well if you can be that happy around us, why can't you stay that way?"
Great question! Ask my brain! I would love to stay being that person who has all the fun. But I can't. And like I said before, it's not that we don't want to. If we could be the person that we are, when we are around others, we would choose that in a heartbeat. But it's not that simple. And I wish I could explain it. But I can't.
And that makes things more frustrating because we would love nothing more than to explain to others why we are the way we are... but we don't understand it ourselves...
PS. "Goin' Through the Big D" by Mark Chesnutt is a great song. Listen to it.
