There is truly nothing more agonizing than being ignored and not understanding why. You sit and weigh every possible bad scenario you can come up with. You end up going back and forth between believing the other person hates you and thinking that something horrible happened to them.
Ghosting is ugly and it's completely unfair. It feels like you're repeatedly being hit by a truck with every passing day. You cry and Google things you most certainly should not. You worry over someone's health, all while they leave you mentally struggling, without a second thought as to what they are actually putting you through.
You call and text, send Facebook messages, text some more and then, all of a sudden, you look down and you've had an entire conversation with yourself in the message thread that they never responded to.
So you delete the messages on your end (like it's actually going to do something) and pretend like you're not crazy, all while feeling totally crazy.
So before you start looking and feeling crazy, try to do some of these things instead.
Remember your value.
First and foremost, before you start feeling insecure and questioning everything you've said and done in the last 72 hours, take a minute to appreciate yourself.
Remember that someone's choice to ignore you isn't necessarily even about you. It oftentimes is more about their own fears and inability to communicate. Someone else's inability to be open and honest with you does not make you less of a person.
Call a friend.
Before you send text after text after text, talk it out with a friend. Take a minute to vent and process your feelings before typing them out. It helps to get other people's perspectives, and doing so can even change the way you feel about it.
Write them a letter.
Sometimes, what you want to say to someone one day might be something you want to take back later. Try writing all your feelings out in a letter, while you wait for them to return your calls. And maybe you'll need to write several letters.
Just keep getting your feelings out without blowing up the other person's phone with them.
Read a book.
Sometimes, the best distraction is to lose yourself in someone else's story. Whether you dive into a fashion blog or a novel, take some time to read something other than old text messages.
Treat yourself.
Self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself when you're feeling vulnerable or sad. Go get your hair done or call your nail salon and get a deluxe pedicure. Go get a massage. Maybe do some retail therapy with a friend or go to dinner and a movie.
Just do something for YOU. You deserve it, even if you're not being treated very well right now.
Treat yourself right first. Someone else will get it right soon, too.
Binge Netflix.
Avoid your phone if possible. Get into a new TV series and leave your phone on the charger. Let yourself get hooked on something other than waiting on the chime of your phone.
Re-evalute the situation.
Could something have happened other than you being ignored? Phone broken? Family emergency?
Try to humble yourself and be understanding, even if it isn't something innocent. Make sure you leave room for mistakes.
People are not perfect. The person dodging your texts knows they're doing it, and there is a good chance they don't feel good about it. Try to remember that you don't know what they're thinking. Give yourself room to accept it or at least hear it out when the time comes.
Find closure.
Maybe you never hear from them again, leaving you in a cloud of heavy emotions. Take the time to give yourself closure.
If someone truly cannot be honest with you when they decide they no longer want to be in a relationship, then they are genuinely not worth your time.
Take a minute to think about what you want from your partner and add good communication to your list. This is NOT a reflection on you. Just because someone else is a coward and can't do things the way you deserve, it doesn't mean your value decreases. You are WAY more than this thing that happened to you.
Sometimes, people don't know how to handle a situation, so they choose not to handle it. Whether it's a breakup or a family issue, sometimes not saying anything seems easiest.
While it's really hard to sympathize with people who choose to treat people this way, you can at least relate to the fact that it's hard to hurt people. Try to remember that hurting people isn't easy, and just because someone chose to ghost you, that doesn't mean they feel OK with it.
Whatever you do, DO NOT blow up their phone.
Give it some time. Send a message checking in after a few days, but ultimately, let it be. It is better to give it all some air than to say too much and come off kind of crazy. You'll regret it so much later.
After a week, send a final message expressing your feelings. Be articulate, but be calm. You have got this. Honestly, if it's been a week and they have not found a way to reach out to you, then you know it's over. And even if it isn't over, it should be. Because you deserve way better than that.
You are more than that ghosting douchebag made you feel. And you're going to be OK. I promise.
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