May is recognized as “Mental Health Awareness” month according to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Mental health is everywhere, and just as every bit important as physical health. It affects all sorts of things in our lives, our actions, our thoughts, our bodies (inside and outside), our day-to-day routines and more. You may know someone with a mental illness, whether it’s diagnosed or undiagnosed. You may see others with symptoms. You yourself can be affected by it, whether it’s directly or indirectly. The thing is, mental health is all around us.
Personally speaking, I have been surrounded by people that demonstrate qualities of mental illnesses. It’s been in my home, in my friends and more. It’s affected me in more ways than one. It’s something that can be hard to talk about but something all of us need to bring to light.
The problem is, a lot of these things go undiagnosed. On a first-hand basis, my slate is clean. I have not been to a doctor in ages and by no means am I qualified to say what I have and do not have. But for some time now, I seem to run into people who notice that I demonstrate symptoms of anxiety. I’ve never thought of it this way and I’ve always shrugged off things that people have said. I know in my previous article, I wrote not to panic but in some cases, it’s easier said than done. Everyone has panicked over something in their lives and for me, there have been times where I have panic attacks. But I’ve always just chalked this up to being panicked. I’ve never actually thought of giving it a name. For example, the first time I had to have blood taken, I had a panic attack. This only led to the conclusion that IVs and bloodwork are not my thing. It’s not something that happens every day but certain situations can cause it. For those of you who have never had a panic attack, let me explain.
When you panic, having someone tell you to “calm down” seems like the worst thing in the world. There are plenty of people out there who hate the phrase “calm down”. Doesn’t matter if you’re panicking or just venting about something – it seems to be the most hated phrase I know. When you panic, there isn’t anything more in the world that you want than to calm down. It’s the whole point behind the name “panic attack,” you feel as though you’re being attacked and you just want for it to stop.
When you panic, having someone tell you to “breathe” also seems like the worst thing in the world. It goes hand in hand with its friend “calm down.” You wish you could calm down and you wish you could breathe but having a panic attack feels like drowning while you’re on land. Whatever caused you to panic in the first place just doesn’t want you to calm down and it doesn’t want you to breathe either.
When you panic, your chest is going to hurt. It can be a mixture of things. The tightness that can be confused for having an actual heart attack (be sure you know the difference) or the fact that you’ve been inhaling and exhaling rapidly, non-stop, trying to catch your breath when you can’t. The pain can feel similar to going up multiple flights of steps.
When you panic, your head will explode. Not literally. It will feel like it though. You start with a handful of thoughts or situations that set the alarm off to begin with, followed by dizziness and the motion that comes with hyperventilating. Everything will begin to feel like its spinning and you aren’t going to be able to think straight, no matter how hard you try.
When you panic, good luck with speaking. If you’ve ever started crying and someone has told you to slow down because they can’t understand what you’re saying, imagine that multiplied by a thousand. It only adds on frustration to the panic as you try really hard to get across what is going on.
When you panic, you will be alone. Even when someone witnesses what’s going on with you, you will be alone. The thing is, all of the “calm downs” and the “breathes” are nothing but the best way people know how to deal with whatever it is that’s going on with you. If someone or a group of people are around to witness a panic attack unfold, this triggers a small amount of panic in them. You won’t always know how to calm down right away and the only person who can stop the panic attack is yourself. Not to mention, there’s the feeling of shame afterwards that you might get for having it happen in front of someone else.
The truth to all of this is that having panic attacks feels like one of the scariest things in the world. To me anyways. It’s a mental and physical combination that becomes a complete sense of loss of control over your mind and your body. In my experience however, having these panic attacks has taught me some things. For one thing, it’s taught me things in regards to friendship. I used to think that it should be a friend’s responsibility to be there when you are down but it isn’t. Life is crazy and hectic and people aren’t always going to be there when you need them most, but it’s not necessarily means to write them off. On top of this, some people cannot handle witnessing these sorts of things which has only taught me that everyone you meet brings something to the table. If it isn’t being there when you’re freaking out, then that’s OK. This doesn’t make them any less of friends and there will still be people around to help and support you. Secondly, having a panic attack or any symptom or mental illness does not make you a weak person. You’re not always going to handle situations with the highest form of grace and that’s OK. It’s OK to not be OK. You will have ups and downs and good days and bad days. Sometimes you’ll have good months or bad months and that’s okay too. We are all the furthest thing from perfect human beings and that is perfectly OK. Lastly, and I can’t stress this enough, find the help you need and the help you deserve. Find someone you can trust that will listen and talk to them. A friend or family member or a coworker. Talk to your doctor or to a counselor. There are always options when it comes to seeking help and regaining your happiness.
