It's been months since the last time I put on the jersey that changed my life completely: and I miss it more than ever. For some reason, it is the days when you are completely free to do nothing, that make you miss the days when you were expected to do something, the most. It's these days when you realize just how much you miss the feeling of over-stretched muscles, the Saturday morning practices, the all-day tournaments, the long bus rides and the teammates that became your family.
No matter how many pictures were taken, cheers were chanted, wins were fought for, points were scored or tears were spilled, there will never be something that can truly measure the amount in which I miss the sport. Although I do have the memories, nothing will ever truly compare to the real-life experience, the in-the-moment, win or lose, breathing hard but have to keep pushing moments, because no picture and no video can capture the feeling that over takes you in that moment.
There is something about the beating of your heart that over powers the roar of the crowd, something about the speed of the game that slows everything else around you down to a stop. There is something about the lights and the air, it's as if it all centers around you and your teammates, right there, right then. For just the quickest moment, you forget your worries, your problems, your anxieties: everything just fades away, and you find yourself in the one place where everything makes since.
It isn't until it's all over that you realize how much it all mattered. At the moment, you may not appreciate the early Saturday practices that take away your time to sleep in, but you'll look back and realize that you had the rest of your life to sleep in on the weekends. At the time, I despised the over-stretched muscles after try-out week, but I can do a jumping squat like a boss now, and my side shuffling isn't too shabby if I do say so myself.
It's the tiny things that make you miss it the most though. When a Facebook memory pops up a time when you went with your teammates out to lunch, the videos of your entire team singing along to the most popular song of the season, or stopping by to visit your coach for a few minutes while home on break. It's knowing that at one point in time, you belonged to something and it belonged to you.
It's been quite a while since I took my jersey off for the very last time. I traded it in for a team picture and closed my gym locker once and for all. However, despite it being over, the memories still exist, and for the person who misses not just the sport, but those they were lucky enough to experience it with: that's more than enough.
