I come from a long line of individuals who are prone to substance abuse and psychological disorders. Genetically speaking, I am at a high risk of developing alcoholism, drug addiction, bipolar disorder, severe depression, or a mixture of them at some point during my lifetime. A lot of my family members cave to these predispositions at a young age and spend the rest of their lives fighting a losing battle. My mother partakes in this battle, as did her mom before her, and my great grandmother before the both of them. I’m not really sure how many generations it can be traced back, but I have made it my life’s mission to ensure that – starting with me – it can’t be traced forward to any more.

When I was younger knowing these things made me feel as if I was already predestined for failure, like I didn’t even have a chance, and I know there are a lot of people out there who have experienced those same feelings. It’s kind of hard to see a future over all of the odds that have been stacked against you.

The thing about alcoholism, addiction, and mental illness is that it consumes the people you love and unearths an entirely different entity within them, to the point where they are completely unrecognizable. I tell you in confidence that this change is what happened with my mom after my youngest sister passed away at just three years-old. My family had to move far too many times. I came to know child services workers on a first name basis. The local police frequented our house enough that they knew the route by memory. The front office at my first high school eventually stopped marking my siblings and I late. I’ve been to more court hearings than a Supreme Court justice and I’ve seen more awful things in my short eighteen years than most people see in their entire lives. I spent three weeks in a foster home, eight months in foster care, and two long years separated from my family after that.

Truth be told, life can deal a very difficult hand and none of us are exempt from it. I know very well that there are people who have had it much worse than me and people who will never have it as bad as I did, but we all go through something and it’s important that we learn to live our lives in defiance of the hardships we face. I could have given up and just accepted my “fate”. I have had plenty of opportunities to do drugs or drink, and I’ve gone through enough for it to be moderately acceptable if I had, and that’s exactly why I don’t. I know the person that all the evidence says I should be. I know that if I became an alcoholic or a drug addict people would think it was such a shame, but they wouldn’t really be surprised because that’s the norm in my family and it has been for years. In their eyes I’d simply be falling in line with what my lineage has already predicted about me. For all of these reasons I have chosen to rise above and to not let genetics or history or circumstance decide my future for me. It is because of the hardships that I persevere. It is because of the trials that I have learned to have faith, and it is because everything has gone wrong that I am trying to make it all right. If life were easy there would never be a cause for change.

So my message to you is to live your life in defiance. Live it in defiance of the hardships you face, in defiance of the people who don’t believe in you, in defiance of history, and contrary to all the evidence that says you are anything but extraordinary. Be a first generation college student. Travel the world. Cry when you need to, but always remember to smile again. Laugh in the face of overwhelming odds. Let life knock you down, then get right back up and keep on moving. Because if there is anything I’ve learned it’s that we all hold the power to decide who we are for ourselves and that the future holds endless possibilities for life to improve. So don’t you worry friend – the glass is always half full… sometimes you just have to fill it up yourself.