After coming out of this wonderful season of Christmas cookies, happy gatherings, and gift giving, what's not to love?
Well, actually a lot. Especially for those who have had a history of disordered eating.
Thankfully, I have years of recovery under my belt and this time of the year no longer brings the intense amounts of anxiety, fear, and frustration that it used to. Today I'm thankful that the holiday's from November through December are no longer plagued with feelings of dread, and that I can be present while being with those I care about! Instead of being trapped in my own head.
Years ago I would have been weighed down with thoughts such as...
"I worked out enough before this to allow myself to do this..."
"I could sneak some of this under my napkin and into the trash..."
"Maybe if I just eat it real slowly then they'll give up on me and not force me to finish it..."
These harmful thoughts haven't just affected me, but also a large number of people who are struggling silently or openly.
I can gladly and honestly say that my path to recovery has been something I worked extremely hard for, and that all of my hard work and sacrifice has paid off as proof of my current happiness, confidence, and self acceptance.
It's completely true that I can recognize unhealthy old habits and thoughts that show up from time to time (especially around the holidays.) These come about because of the amount, and types of food that's constantly around me. However, I am at a point now where recognizing is all that I do, and don't act on them.
Through my treatment and practice I am now able to mindfully acknowledge my feelings, evaluate why I feel this way, and give myself comfort in the fact that I'm going to be OK.
Reaching this point of feeling OK without engaging in unhealthy behaviors takes a long time for anyone to reach; and my thoughts go out to all those who experienced this anxiety more than I did this holiday season.
It's easy for myself, and others like me, to sympathize with those experiencing similar feelings of anxiety and damaging thoughts because these feelings are something we've gone through first hand. However, it's very difficult for our loved ones to fathom why we would think this way; why would you voluntarily slowly starve ourselves.
My advice to those who have loved ones fighting this battle is to be as sympathetic as possible, and to remember that we all have demons and struggles in our lives, and they are different to each of us.
As we begin this new year I am personally wishing all of us to love and accept ourselves, and to have faith that everything will be OK.
Wishing you all a happy and holistically healthy New Year!!
