Thanksgiving is a time for food. It is a time for giving thanks, family conversations, Instagramming, and for fighting fellow shoppers for a deal. However, the one thing most people have in common is the overwhelming amount of calories we consume over the entire weekend… and month.
“The Holidays” encompass an entire season, typically from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day. This season is stressful for many people. For some, the topics at family dinners, such as “do you have a significant other yet” or “what are your plans for after college, and how is school, anyway” or the elephant in the room of 2016, politics, all induce at least an eyeroll if not a full blown breakdown. For others, the stresses of holiday shopping such as insufficient funds or simply a lack of creativity are the triggers. For students, the stress seems to originate from long term projects and intensifies as we procrastinate. For me, the holidays have always caused one consistent stress: my body.
I have always struggled with body image. I have never seen what people mean when they tell me I am “thin” or words along the lines of looking healthy and fit because I never thought I looked like other girls. I never looked the way I thought I should look.
What does one see when they look at me? Well, I am a female, standing 5’6” with brown hair. I have freckles decorating my entire body, hazel eyes, and a fair complexion. If you ask societal standards, I have an athletic build, thick legs and “a fatty”. In other words, I have an hourglass figure which means I have relatively narrow shoulders, a tiny waist, and wide hips and thighs. These are all things I’ve been told. When I thought of ideal societal standards, or the way I thought I should look, I saw big legs with cellulite. I saw a bum and waist ratio that makes finding a properly fitting pair of jeans nearly impossible. I saw a flat stomach that should have a 6-pack and arms that should have perfect tone.
But that was not who I was. I was defining myself by imperfections that I perceived from an idealistic, but not realistic standard. I was always looking for the problems that I saw with my own body and not listening to, or realizing any positives. Since starting my current job as a fitness instructor, I have slowly uncovered all of these positive things.
For the past six months, I have been working as a barre instructor, and therefore promoting a healthy lifestyle and positive body image. My work is about staying positive and creating a positive environment for clients of all ages and fitness levels. We promote exercise because we love and want to take care of our bodies, not because we hate them. In working under these principles, I have learned to embrace all of these things myself. I do not think of eating healthy as “dieting”, rather it is my diet: it is the fuel I need to help me perform at a high level and to complement the work that I do inside and outside of my job. I learned that it is okay to eat grease, cheese, and lots of sugar sometimes, too, as everything in fitness involves balance. I do not search for the cellulite or the flab or fat that I used to see. Instead I celebrate all of the small victories: my tricep and back muscles that pop when I move my arms in a certain way, the strength I feel in my legs after a long run or a set of thigh dancing, and my ability to push through the pain of any workout because for the first time in my life, I am stronger mentally than I am physically.
This Holiday Season I am thankful for my boyfriend, my family and friends, my students, my clients, my job, my health, and many other significant aspects of my life. However, for the first time in my life, I am thankful for my body. I can finally see beyond numbers on a scale and my own negativity. I no longer have body envy of others, but am ambitious to train and fuel my own body. I know, now that every aspect of my body has a purpose, and I am grateful for each of them. My thick legs help me pulse deep and run hard. My big booty gives me a cushion when I sit and helps me fill out a pair of jeans. My tiny waist is sought after by even Kardashian sisters who use waist trainers to imitate my shape. My arms aren’t perfectly toned but in the right lighting I can see muscle definition. And all of these things are absolutely, 100 percent me, and I couldn't be happier about it.
