I met my boyfriend on January 6, 2016 and we began dating soon after. I'm not going to lie, when I first met him I had no idea or even thought he was the son of two full blooded Bosnian people- therefore, he was 100% Bosnian and I didn't find out till days later. Soon after we started dating I was invited to go home with him one weekend to help his dad move to a new house. Of course, I said yes. One: Because I wanted to meet his family and two: because saying no is kind of rude in my opinion. Before I actually met his father, I quite often thought about what they would be like (I only knew one Bosnian girl I played basketball with, but I never really got to know her so I didn't know much about the Bosnian culture and lifestyle.) and how different their culture was compared to Americans. Here are things I've noticed while dating someone with parents from a different country.
1. They accept you into their family real quick. Like 0-100 real quick.
The first time I met my boyfriends niece (she was 6 at this time) she had just gotten off the bus. My boyfriends father quickly introduced me to her as "The New Family Member". I'm not going to lie, I felt awkward at first but after time and even now I feel like family and they treat me as such. I would be more than blessed to have them one day as my in-laws.
2. You won't starve, ever. There are many tons of really different and unique types of food they will feed and offer you.
Börek was the first Bosnian dish I had ever. Let me tell you, at first it looked like a distorted cinnamon roll. However, it is now my second favorite food ever and my favorite Bosnian dish. Also they have literal trays and fridges filled with drinks to choose from almost every time you come to someones house as well as lots of snacks and candy and such. It's heaven on earth man.
3. They made very funny jokes and seem to have no filter (That's not bad at all!).
I've always heard Europeans had no filter when it came to dirty jokes and profanity, however I didn't think it was as bad as some of my friends described it. I live in Georgia, it not uncommon ever to hear the words "Damn", "Ass", "Shit", "Bitch" and even the "F word", however, they are used generally pretty sparingly. However, Europeans have ZERO filter. Most people would guard their kids from it, and find it very inappropriate- I myself though find it very funny and quite entertaining given the context whatever word is used in. I wouldn't say that I feel right at home because my parents don't curse really, but being around a family that was so open was actually a very comforting and fun environment to be around and in.
4. You won't understand 90% of what they say, and that's okay.
My boyfriend is constantly trying to translate what his parents say because most of the time I have absolutely no idea what is being said. He doesn't speak perfect Bosnian but he speaks enough to give me the gist of whatever is being said to me. Hopefully and maybe one day I will speak enough to be able to communicate on my own!
5. They naturally loud speakers, so when they are on the phone they probably aren't mad. They just talk loud.
The first time I met my boyfriends mother I thought she was pissed to the ends of the earth about something because it sounded like she was yelling over the phone. When I asked my boyfriend if she was okay he looked at me like Yeah...? Duh. Turns out most of his family just speaks really loudly. It doesn't mean they are mad, sometimes they might be but most of the time they are probably having a casual conversation.
6. Help yourself. They are very much "Mi casa, su casa" type of people. If you want something to drink they are more than happy to get it for you.
7. You're going to get a lesson in another culture, up close and personal.
You're going to get more than your average history lesson. When dating someone who's family comes from another country, you will learn a lot about their family history, what its like growing up in so and so country, what the 1930's were like there, wars, and most of their general culture stuff. Its actually very interesting and I love hearing about it.
8. You learn to listen more.
I have learned how important it is to listen- mainly because I don't normally understand what's going on and being said around me. Although, if I listen carefully I can sometimes pick up some words here and there. It's pretty cool.
9. You learn to have patience.
Again, the language barrier strongly teaches me all kinda of things, one of those things being patience. I grew up not being very patient at all, I wanted things to be done ASAP. However, with the improvement of listening comes the improvement of patience. I have gained SO MUCH patience since dating my boyfriend. I had to adapt to the culture around me and learn to be comfortable in situations that I personally was not yet use to.
10. You kind of get bragging rights if I do say so myself.
I always thought dating someone foreign would be really cool. Although my boyfriend isn't "foreign" because he was born here, his parents and majority of his family very much are. Because of this I've leaned a lot in a short period of time and gained many new friends and hopefully one day in-laws. I'm very thankful that God placed my boyfriend and his family in my life, I really couldn't imagine dating anyone else. I was told one time when you date a person, you date their family. I always thought that was so weird, but now I totally understand it.
