It's two simple letters that have changed the course of my entire life. Sometimes it takes me hours to work up the courage to say it, sometimes I blurt it out in frustration and anger and sometimes you can barely hear me whisper it as tears roll down my face. There have been times that saying the word "no" has made me lose people's respect, made me seem less cool or given others the perception that I think I'm better than them. However, my intentions of declining someone's offer are not to pass judgment on them but to stay to true to myself.

Peer pressure is a difficult thing to overcome, especially when reputation and self-discovery are on the line. As a girl who rarely gave in to the persuasive voices around me, I know the sacrifices necessary in order to stay on the course that reflects my personal values and beliefs.

Did I ever lose friends because I said "no" to a party that seemed like a bad idea? Yes. Did I ever get laughed at because I didn't want to take "just one shot"? Absolutely. Was I ever judged for seeming stuck-up or boring? Probably. But, most importantly, did I ever regret saying "no"? Not a single time.

I'm not saying that people who party or drink before they are 21 are disappointments or that having fun with your friends is wrong. However, I know myself and understand where my comfort zone begins and ends. Saying "no" is not about declining fun but rather declining something that strays away from who I know myself to be. If it wasn't for my persistent refusal of all the things that I didn't agree with or want to do, I would probably be very lost and confused about what my purpose is and where my satisfaction comes from.

That being said, I'm still going to try new things. I'm excited about adventures and I like to be out of my comfort zone once in a while, but nothing makes me happier than having a complete understanding of myself and knowing which circumstances will reinforce that understanding and which ones will set me on a path of confusion and regret.

So, please, when someone says "no" to your offer, remember that it is not about you or meant to be an insult. Supporting them in their decision will help them grow more than punishing them for understanding themselves. It's okay to push your friends to try new things, but the best time to do that is when they are indecisive, not when they have openly denied your request. Our world is constantly responding in "yes", "no" and "maybe", and understanding the impact that each of these choices has on fulfilling our purpose will lead us to find where our next step is.