“I believe in equal pay, but I’m not a feminist.”
“I believe that a woman should be able to do what she wants free from judgment, but I’m not a feminist.”
“I want to get married and have kids, so I can’t be a feminist.”
Recently there has been an influx of women denouncing feminism, listing their reasons of why they will never give themselves that label. When I tell someone I’m a feminist, too often the reaction consists of a pleasant smile and masked fear. I feel the silent judgments and assumptions that I’m an anti-male warrior with an agenda of destroying traditional values and relationships. The word “feminism” has the power of being the key to empowerment, but instead the people that can benefit the most from it pretend that it doesn’t exist, and cower in fear from the idea of being labelled as one.
Feminist has become a dirty word. It carries the weight of being associated with man-hating and thousands of negative connotations that no one wants to be associated with. The issue is that a very small group of people have taken the word and corrupted it to mean misandry, prejudice against men. While these few people use this word for something other that its original purpose, we cannot let the fear control us. One of the most dangerous things you can do is avoid doing something out of fear of judgment. Don’t allow the negative connotations of the word keep you from using it, because once people get over this fear, it can begin to mean what it was originally meant for: the complete equality of men and women. Because when you say you’re not a feminist, you’re saying a lot more than you think.
When you say you’re not a feminist, you’re saying that it is OK that one-third of girls in developing countries will be married before they’re 18, 1 in 9 before they’re 15. You’re saying that it’s OK that 31 million girls of primary-school age are not in school and are 70 percent less likely than boys to ever begin school. You’re saying that it’s OK that girls get slut-shamed and victim-blamed on a daily basis. You’re saying that it’s OK that almost every girl struggles with having a positive body-image. All of these categories are feminist issues, so when you distance yourself from the word, you’re really just turning your back to thousands of feminist issues that involve girls globally.
People like to denounce feminism because a common misconception is that if you are feminist you are inherently condemning traditional roles, values and traditions of women. But when did femininity and feminism become mutually exclusive? I have been planning my wedding since I was 4 years old, can’t wait to become a mom and take care of a family, and love wearing dresses and makeup. I also can’t wait to commit myself to my career and sometimes want to leave the house wearing a full-on groutfit. Because of feminism, I can do all of these things, or none of them, without being judged; I won't be called a bitch for being assertive or self-centered for caring about my success. Because I'm a feminist, I won't allow my gender to be synonymous with weak or scared, but instead powerful and resilient.
Next time you say you’re not a feminist, just remember that “feminism is radical notion that women are people.” Period.
