(In response to “An Open Letter to Feminism”)

I’m disappointed, too.

I’m disappointed that so many women have experienced such a negative and off-putting side of feminism. I’m sad that these experiences have made women feel judged, when they should have been supported and encouraged.

I’m sorry that many women have seen such a different side of feminism than I have.

I’m happy and proud to say that I am a feminist. I can’t remember when I first decided this, because feminism's ideals of equality and justice have always appealed to me. Because of this, I have a hard time understanding how feminism has become so misrepresented. Feminists are now often seen as "man-haters" or "bra-burners," instead of what they really are—advocates for equal rights.

And that’s just it: feminism is about equal rights. People often mistake the term “women’s rights” as something different, but they are exactly the same thing. Sam Killerman defines feminism’s ultimate goal as “to create a society in which individuals’ genders don’t restrict them from an equitable shot at success and happiness.”

I would argue that this statement is relatively easy to agree with, but when we start digging into the fine details of feminism, the conversation can get tricky. I struggle with coming off as too gentle or too harsh about this subject because it’s something I care so deeply about. I want to show everyone how great feminism is, so I don't want to push anyone away.

But there is also the struggle of making palatable what is unpalatable.

Women’s oppression is real. The patriarchy that dominates our society is real. It may not be as obvious within our school community, but believe me, it exists here too. It exists in microagressions—in citing gender roles as scientific (“Men are better at science” or “Women are more emotional”), in constantly bringing the conversation back to men's issues ("Men are victims of violence and sexual abuse, too"), or in reactions that overgeneralize ("We should think of people as people not as genders").

Yes, it’s important to fight for everyone’s rights, which feminism fully supports, but it is undeniable that there are important issues specific to women.

Women make up over half of the professional workforce, but hold less than 10% of top management positions.

After winning the 2015 World Cup and bringing in a record-breaking number of viewers, the US women's soccer team won only $2 million—compared to the $35 million given to the German men's team who won the previous year.

Over 90% of victims of sexual assault are women.

62 million girls around the world are still denied an education and in many countries, women who try to get an education are met with extreme resistance and discrimination.

These are powerful statistics that illustrate a real overarching problem, and trying to focus on that problem does not mean you ignore other problems. Highlighting women's issues does not meaning ignoring men's issues.

Writer Susannah Weiss explains this, saying, "When people hear you describing a world where people are categorized and bringing the experiences of specific categories to their attention, they worry that you’re perpetuating these categories. You’re not. You’re just talking about them."

She adds that "members of privileged groups would like to think they’re not contributing to or benefiting from anyone’s oppression. Invoking human solidarity allows them to do this, but it also ignores history."

Feminism is not about socially dividing us by gender—it’s about closing the social divide that already exists. The whole point is that we shouldn’t have to be “as _____ as men”—no specific gender should be the standard to aspire to. The problem is that in our culture, men’s experiences and strengths are seen as the norm, and women’s are generally seen as lesser.

Feminism did not create gender stereotypes like career woman or loving mother and devoted wife. These roles are socially constructed. Feminism does not hold you back by saying you’ll have to choose between one or the other—it doesn’t even urge to you to choose. Feminism is the reason you can be both.

And it's important to remember that feminism is not one person. It is not its most staunch, extreme defender and it is not the most uncertain, indecisive member. It’s made of imperfect, searching people whose beliefs all fall somewhere on a spectrum of conviction.

When you put words into the mouth of a movement, you run the risk of stereotyping an entire movement, just as you say that movement stereotypes you.

And yes, there are some feminists who hate men. But that itself is not feminism—that's called misandry. Feminism needs men's support as well. In her speech to the UN, Emma Watson invites men to join the feminist movement HeForShe, stating, "Gender equality is your issue too."

She goes on to note, "Men don’t have the benefits of equality either. We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence."

I am not a feminist expert by any means, and I can’t speak for the rest of the feminists out there. I can only tell you about the feminism I know and care so deeply for.

Being a feminist to me means that yes, I will keep fighting. I'll fight for women who want a career and a family. I'll fight for men who are told emotions make them weak. I'll fight for girls who are being raised in a culture that teaches them that their potential is inherently limited.

I hope that in the future, you'll feel supported and welcomed by feminism. But even if you don't and feminism isn't something you want to fight for, I'll still be fighting for you, too.