It's unfortunate that some people don’t believe how real anxiety can be. That feeling you get in your chest; the feeling of tightness, like someone is sitting on it preventing you from breathing normally. That empty feeling in your stomach that you get late at night or mid-afternoon, or at any time of day actually. It can start because of an argument with someone, the thought of your past, or your thoughts about your future. It can come from looking in the mirror or looking out your window.
Anxiety keeps us from enjoying the moment we're living in. It keeps our minds and our thoughts in a different place, until we realize that we missed what was going on right in front of us. People with anxiety can’t help the way they are, and some people don’t understand that people with anxiety can’t change the way their mind works. We can't change how our brains were developed.
Those of you on the outside, the ones who don't experience what anxiety does, you have to understand that the anxiety we have leaves us vulnerable and insecure. We are sensitive. We need to be loved in a different way than you do. You have to remember that your words are heavy to us, and you have to remember there are some things you cannot say to us if you don't want to make our anxiety worse.
"Everything is going to be OK."
Of course everything is going to be OK. You think we don’t know that? If we could fully understand that everything was going to be OK, we would be OK. But sometimes, we can’t help what our thoughts are doing to us.
"Can’t you just forget about it?"
If we could forget about it, we would. So instead of telling us to forget about the anxiety we’re having, hold our hands and be there for us. Usually, that’s all we need.
"Calm down."
This only makes it worse for all of us. When you tell us to calm down, all it does is make the situation worse.
"You just don’t see what everyone else sees."
No. We don’t. No matter how hard we try to, we will never be able to see what everyone else does.
"You’re just asking for attention."
It’s important for people without anxiety to understand that we aren’t the way we are because we want to be. We don’t work ourselves up because we think it's cool. We don’t allow our hearts to race because we think it’s a good work out. We are the way we are, and there’s nothing we can do to completely shut it off. We don’t want to be like this.
Next time you go to comfort your friend who is having anxiety, remember these words. They are important to people with anxiety. They are appreciated by us. We will thank you, I promise.
