What You See When You Look In The Mirror

What You See When You Look In The Mirror

Most days its not easy to love yourself.
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When you look in the mirror, what do you see about yourself that you don’t like or want to change? Your nose? Your mouth? Your freckles? Well what about when you look in the mirror and hate everything you see? At that point in time, how much do you wish you were someone else?

Hating everything about yourself makes life difficult. The little demons inside you make it impossible to get anything done. Those annoying little voices who tell you that you aren’t smart enough, or pretty enough, or tough enough or simply enough. It gets to a point where it’s too much and you just can’t take it anymore. This is the voice that you have given all your power for the longest time. This is the voice that you have to realize is not in control anymore. You are in control, and you need to understand that you are worth it.

It’s very difficult when you haven’t ever seen any good in your reflection and there is something new to find every day and hate. The days always seem longer and as the day gets slower the thoughts get meaner and more aggressive. I don’t remember a time where I have looked in the mirror and liked what I have seen. Almost every day when I look in the mirror, I have something negative to say about myself. But there are days where I look at myself and say, “Maybe I don’t look so bad today,” but then there is something that comes from out of nowhere and tries to suppress the good thoughts and make the negative thoughts the loudest until there is no more ignoring them.

Even though there are thoughts that can counteract and rationalize the nasty ones, they always seem to get pushed to the side and the bad ones shine through. These thoughts don’t help the image you see in the mirror because by this point there are so many evil comments thrown at you, you can’t help but see them physically manifest in the form of the person looking back at you.

However, some days are better than others, and that’s when you know you are making progress. There are days where you don’t even need to look in the mirror and you feel like you own the world. But those days don’t last too long and sometimes, they’re not even days at all. Sometimes they are fleeting moments when you think you can make it out of the dark void but then it just sucks you right back in. But there is hope. Take some time to think about the good traits that you have, because when you like yourself, your reflection will too.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/maryland/open-letter-to-my-mirror/391600

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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The Only Difference Between A Summer Body And Your Winter Body Is Your Attitude

Your love handles need love, too.

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Summer is coming and for most, this is a very exciting time. The weather is warm, school is out, and the beaches are packed. Although summer is great most of the time, it can also be super stressful for people who aren't confident in their bodies. There is a body ideal that is set on media sharing sites such as Instagram, Facebook, and VSCO that makes people feel like they need to fit that image to be considered attractive.

My first problem is, well, these images are unrealistic in the first place. Most of the time, people posting photos of them in their bikinis or swim trunks have edited the photo in some way. Whether they've edited it to appear skinnier, more muscular, or tanner, odds are they've doctored the photo in some way. Even if they haven't, who cares!

I know I've personally struggled when it comes time to buy a bathing suit. Honestly, it's the worst thing ever. Looking in the mirror and seeing what you look like after the holidays and 4 months without the sun can be shocking. It's time to embrace this! I've seen so many people posting "working on my summer body," or "getting ready for bikini season," and it's honestly just sad.

A person shouldn't have to change their everyday lifestyle to want to "look good" in their bathing suit. What's wrong with a little extra weight on the thighs or some cellulite on your butt? As long as you feel confident with your body, you should want to embrace it and show it off!

Feeling confident in today's world is harder than ever for women. The media is pushing body positivity, but it doesn't seem like it applies to everyone. If a celebrity is a little thicker, everyone applauds them and talks about how beautiful they are, "even though they're bigger," and that is exactly where the problem lies. Shifting the standard of beauty because someone is bigger totally discredits whatever compliments they receive. It's a backhanded compliment and it's not fair to include a comment about their weight while trying to compliment them. Someone's beauty should not be defined by how big or small they are and saying people are an exception to the rule probably hurts them more than you think.

I don't know about you but I won't be doing anything to prepare my body for this summer because these people are going to take what I give them! All in all, love yourself first and it'll give others the opportunity to do the same!

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