What Is Vulnerability?

What Is Vulnerability?

This is based off of a homework assignment that inspired me..
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At some point in our lives, everyone has experienced a time where they felt vulnerable. In Brené Brown’s TED Talk, she addresses vulnerability and discusses her research on individuals who accept their insecurities versus those who do not. Individuals who accept their vulnerabilities are more likely to have a sense of love and belonging than those who do not. These individuals had the courage to put themselves first, and are loved for doing so. They believed that their imperfections are what makes them beautiful, which gave them the appearance of being authentic.

Unlike these individuals, some people are ashamed of their insecurities because they believe if anyone discovers their flaws, then they will be viewed as unworthy to create a connection with. When these individuals were asked to speak about something positive such as love, they responded with the first time they got their heart broken. They are so concerned with being deemed unworthy and are unable to create connections with those around them. Because of this, they do not expose any of their insecurities and ultimately numb themselves from feeling vulnerable. This leads to them being unable to feel other emotions such as joy, excitement, and so on.

I believe that everyone has been exposed to a situation that has resulted in them showing their insecurities. However, I do find it interesting that people who are ashamed of their insecurities are less likely to feel a sense of belongingness. In my opinion, to be imperfect is human, and everyone has something they want to be kept secret. Although I haven't accepted all of my insecurities, I can say I do feel a sense of belongingness because I have come to accept that perfection and flawlessness are unobtainable. Some people can accept that simple fact, while others have a more difficult time coming to terms with it.

Personally, I think if I were to take Brené Brown’s survey, I would be somewhere in the middle. In certain situations, I do feel ashamed of my insecurities and believe that if anyone knew certain things that I would lose the ability to create connections. On the other side of things, my stance is also similar to those who feel their imperfections are beautiful. I am the way I am for a reason. As the saying goes, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” I have no idea who first said that, but that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life thus far and I don’t plan on changing anytime soon. Anyone who doesn’t accept me for all that I am, isn’t someone I want to have in my life. It actually took me a very long time to realize that. During high school, I was so concerned with having people like me, and ‘fitting in.’ Once I became a Sophomore, all of that changed. I started being myself, and came to discover that people love me for who I am.

There are times where I still wish things were different for me, or that I was a different kind of person. But then I realize if things weren’t the way they are, and I wasn’t the way I am then my whole life would be different. Without my life being the way it is, I might not know some of the people I hold closest to my heart. From a young age, I always thought that if we were all the same, and everyone looked alike then we would have nothing that distinguishes ourselves, and life would be really boring. It’s very easy to “judge a book by its cover” when you don’t know the whole story. Too often people judge others on something that makes them different, before actually getting to know the person they are outside of their insecurities.

It’s up to us to decide what we do with our vulnerabilities. Whether we choose to accept and love ourselves enough to let another person see us for who we are, is a battle that we could possibly face our whole lives. There are times when I think I’m done fighting that battle, and have come to accept myself for all that I am fully and completely. However, there are situations that bring up insecurities for me, making me feel vulnerable. I believe that I’ve gotten better at letting people in and exposing myself, at least a little bit more than I used to. There are times where it still hard for me to let people in, and it’s probably because I am fearful of their reactions to what I’m about to expose.

Everyone has felt vulnerable at some point in their lives. Some people may have accepted themselves fully, or some people may have felt shame and kept to themselves during that time. I think what people don’t realize is that a lot of us have similar things to be vulnerable about. There are times when people think “that person is so much more ___ than I am” but what they don’t realize is that they could be saying the same thing about them. I’ve had a hard time not comparing myself, and changing myself for others, and as I’m getting older it’s getting easier. There will always be times where myself, as well as others will feel vulnerable, and our reactions to those feelings will vary depending on the situation.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.brendarachel4angels.com/

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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5 Tips To Help You Feel Better If You're Sick

A few helpful tips if there's a bug going around.

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Not to brag, but I don't get sick very often, maybe once a year. When I do find myself a little under the weather, there's a few things I like to do for a faster recovery. I have no idea if any of these are 100% accurate, but I'd like to think they do. None of these will immediately make you feel better, but they'll help quicken the process.

Drink lots of water.

This one is a no-brainer, but it can be hard to do sometimes. I know when I'm sick, I definitely don't think about it. Water can help flush toxins out of your body, makes you hydrated, and can help you feel more awake and energized! If you're not a huge water drinker like I am, Tea also helps.

Stay home.

If you're sick, it's honestly better if you just take a day off and focus on feeling better. If you're worried about going to school or work, it's better that you don't spread anything. Let me just say, I'm fairly certain the last time I caught something was because someone behind me in a class was coughing through the entire lecture.

Rest.

This one goes with the last point, but sleeping will help your immune system fight off any infections. It's good to take some time off and get any extra sleep you can.

Clean everything.

I like to wash all of my clothes and bed sheet, because they're what I wear and touch the most, especially my pillow cases. This will help get rid of some germs and stop them from spreading. It's also good to disinfect anything you touch often, like doorknobs and table surfaces.

Take medicine.

This one also sounds like a no brainer, but seriously if you expect to feel better soon you should be taking some sort of medicine. At the very least, it'll help with your symptoms, so you're not couching or sneezing every couple minutes.

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