This is a reminder for myself and for those who have ever felt broken.
After being broken several times and being forced to pick up the pieces, it feels as if you are deserving of all of the pain you receive. Life throws several different obstacles your way and while you are able to shield some of the obstacles from tearing you apart, others are not so easy to defend yourself against. You try and try to be the best human being you can be, in the hopes that the kindness you give to others will be reciprocated. But oftentimes it is not. When you feel as if people will hurt you, you close yourself off from people after trusting them time and time again. Sometimes you allow certain individuals to hurt you when love should not actually hurt. It is not you who is flawed and therefore must be treated negatively, but it is the people who taught you to despise who you are. The way others treat you oftentimes is not a reflection of who you are as a person, but their misconstrued perceptions of you. Do not let the words or actions of others allow you to feel as if you are undeserving. Listen to your heart, and your gut and trust yourself in knowing your own worth. Look deep within yourself; look at all of your strengths and think about what you love about yourself and once you truly begin to believe in your own good qualities, feeling deserving should not be too hard. This is really a question of your own happiness and well being.The important thing to realize is that love is a feeling. It is not something that some people deserve and others do not. Everyone deserves healing. Therefore, you should never question your worthiness of love or compassion.
Fears and insecurities.
Everyone has their own struggles and roads in life. People were born into different circumstances and human forms. It is difficult to shift apart from the position that you were put into.The most you can do when you are at a low position in life or have a low self esteem, or you feel as though people do not think highly of you, is to change your own perceptions of your situation. Confidence is key. If you walk with your head held high, people will follow suit and admire you for it. Confidence is something that takes a lifetime for some people to build, but if you have a beautiful soul and show it to those around you, it is something that many can actually learn to appreciate. It is not always about your outer beauty but what you have on the inside. Beauty is only skin deep, whereas character takes years to build. You may have something more to offer; something incredibly special, so never allow people to tear you down for not having the “physical preferences” that they wish to see in others. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it is also a social construct. People who are not worth your time are those who admire you only for what they see on the surface. If you are ever insecure about your physical appearance, know that you are worth much more.
When people have made mistakes in the past it is not as if they cannot rectify their mistakes. The only way one can rectify a mistake is to feel genuine guilt and to not repeat the same mistake. There are going to be people who point out simple human errors you have made or how bad of a past you had; your only responsibility in this situation is to continue moving forward as the great person you are. Your fears of your past or your flaws catching up with you should not wither your determination of feeling deserving of love.
Past heartbreak.
It is heartbreak of the past that makes many people feel that they are not worthy of love. Simply because someone was not able to appreciate the love and respect you have for them does not mean that you are not worthy of love. Some people who are in physically and emotionally abusive relationships in certain circumstances find that it is hard to leave a relationship, because they are taught that they are undeserving of love and kindness if they look elsewhere. Again, this is only a reflection of the abuser and not the victim who feels they are undeserving of love. Learn to hold yourself to high standards and to only accept true love.
Passionate love.
Some people may not even be looking for love for the pure reason that they feel they are not capable of being loved. So they tend to settle for less. Many are commitment phobic because they think that in the long term their flaws will overpower their strengths and cause people to drift apart from them. The willpower to be in passionate love with someone and have it be mutual is a matter of trust in oneself to stay in a relationship and also a matter of trusting the person on the other side to accept them for who they are. Realize that passionate true love should be with someone who will accept you for your flaws and your strengths. Do not fear love.
Search for happiness, not love.
When we constantly remind ourselves that we need love it becomes impossible to stay optimistic. Love should be a desire and not a necessity. It may seem that everyone is falling in love on the surface, but love takes time. It may come one day for you, whether you believe it or not. We should not search for love but search for happiness, because love and happiness are not equivalent to one another. Although love has the possibility of adding a layer of positivity into your life, your are the only perceiver of your happiness. Love may come to those who are patient.
