What Tinder Has Given To Me

What Tinder Has Given To Me

Online dating: the realization you can get more out of it than a hook-up.
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I've been single for a little over a year and a half at this point, and while my last relationship is long over and done, I have actively and unashamedly been on a couple of dating apps on-and-off since then. Inevitably, people often question my motive behind using dating apps when I'm "young and pretty and could meet a guy in real life!" Yeah right! Mostly, I use them to talk to new people and see if I develop any kind of connection with someone.

Obviously, other than a handful of new (and surprisingly really close) friends, I've been less than fruitful in my search. But honestly, it's kind of what keeps me coming back. You'd think that after a couple of months, I would have given up and tried to venture out in the real world to search for what I seek - but no.

Initially, I was kind of defeated when I met up with various guys for coffee and it didn't work out, but in a way, I'm kind of happy it didn't, too.

Let's say - hypothetically - that after my first or second try, I met the "love of my life" through Tinder. Though I would have had a new partner and companion to confide in, I would have missed out on meeting and talking to so many new people. Coming out of a long-term relationship, I definitely wasn't ready to dive into a new situation where I'd have to dedicate all of my time and energy to one individual again. Making friends, however, was definitely something I wanted and needed to do.

See, I've always liked the idea of online dating apps as an introvert because I feel like I can get to know someone on a more personal level than if you go to a club or something of that nature. I'm normally not one to go to bars, but I've gone to a few the past month or so (for the first time ever!), and I still declare that it's not a good way to meet someone and talk to them even as friends.

Tinder, for me, has become more of a friend/confidant search tool rather than a dating - or, as it's notoriously known - hook-up app.

Because of Tinder, I've met friends from all across the city - people I'd never have gotten the opportunity to meet or speak to in any other instance. I've made friends who are big hockey fanatics like I am, friends who I discuss religion with, friends who studied English like I did, friends who love classical music as much as I do... I even met my tattoo artist through Tinder!

Truthfully, some of these friendships happened because of a failed attempt at a "romantic" connection, but I can't say I'm unhappy with how things went. When you meet someone in person, it usually wipes away the rose-colored glasses you see them under, and only then can you see you two were better meant as friends. Because of these "failed" connections, I now have an arsenal of awesome guys who are there for me as much as I am for them. We're there for each other in different ways as well. We can discuss dating and romance and things like that without intertwining mixed feelings for each other, which is truly refreshing.

So, as you're reading this, I want you to realize that you shouldn't shy away from Tinder or other dating apps just because you've heard bad things. Like anything, you're going to get out of it what you put into it. I put a lot of effort into my profile, picture choice, and conversations, and I normally get back what I put out into the world. Of course I've gotten creeps and weirdos in spite of how much I try to filter my way past them, but for the most part, people leave you to your own devices unless you're actively seeking a certain type of encounter.

Universally, there's still a stigma around the idea of admitting that we as a generation use apps like Tinder to find dates, love, or fulfill our lustful desires. But frankly, I don't care what people think anymore. I used to be too shy to admit that I use this app, but I found that the more open I am about it, the more I discover a majority of my friends use or have used it in the past as well.

Tinder can be an awesome app for developing friendships, dating, and maybe even finding love.

For me, I've only known the former.

And for now, that's perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: CollegeMagazine.com

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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