Self-Love Won't Work If It's Just You Splurging On Superficial Items

Self-Love Won't Work If It's Just You Splurging On Superficial Items

Treat yourself to some real self-love.


Self-love is more than just a trend. It's more than bubble baths and face masks and treating yourself. Lately, the media has made it hard to distinguish between true self-love versus flat out splurging on superfluous luxury items (yay for consumerism).

I'm here to tell you the truth. Self-love isn't always pretty. It's not always Instagram worthy. In fact, sometimes it's downright ugly.

Self-love is evaluating and recognizing areas in your life that need improvement. It's removing any toxicity that's keeping you from being the best version of yourself. It's thinking about actions you can take now to improve your life in the future.

Self-love is being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you are always learning and growing. Encourage yourself the same way you would encourage a good friend. Sometimes you will need to be your own #1 fan and self-love is acknowledging that fact and owning it.

Self-love is also being honest with yourself. Constructive criticism can be kind. Have you been procrastinating more often lately? Are you beginning to neglect your health? Could you use a stricter financial plan? Be honest with yourself, but don't forget to be kind.

Self-love is shifting your focus away from the negative BUT (this is important) fixing areas that you can improve. Identify areas of your life that are making you unhappy. The things that you can't change- shift your focus to the positive. The things that you can change- show yourself some love and go change them. Don't pressure yourself to become a new person overnight either. Self-love takes time and that's OK.

Self-love could be joining a gym. It could be cutting off toxic friends. It could also be giving up alcohol or taking a shower or creating a budget or applying for grad school. Self-love comes in many different forms; it is different for everyone. It's all about recognizing your personal needs and goals and acting upon them.

Finally, self-love is about becoming the best version of yourself you can be. If that version of yourself wants to take a bubble bath and put on a face mask, then they should.

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I Hate That I Struggle To Love My 'Midsize' Body

I gained a few pounds, but that shouldn't be the end of the world, yet it is in a sense.


Junior year of college has been quite the wild ride. I've had the best academic year of my entire life, yet struggled, in the end, to even want to get anything done. I didn't care about a lot of the things that used to matter to me.

I gained weight at the beginning of my second semester and went up a jean size, so half of my summer wardrobe just doesn't fit me anymore, and it's made me feel embarrassed. I went from a size 6 to an 8/10, and while it doesn't seem like a big jump to the average person, it was to me. I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing a bigger pooch than usual, or how my thighs have gotten super irritated because they also got bigger. Chaffing I used to only have in the summer occurred in late January and even scared my inner thighs. It's not cute and it hurts when it flares up. I am terrified to wear my bikinis again because I know they won't fit, and the second I put on shorts my thighs are going to want to kill me if I don't kill them first.

I came to really love my body last summer after struggling through a rough breakup where I stopped caring about myself. I owned myself last summer and as much as I want to again this summer, I'm really struggling with the idea of it.

All I feel like I see on social media are skinny girls with zero hint of a pooch or thick thighs in sight. I've never been a skinny girl and I never want to be, but I can't help but envy the people I've seen online and in person. Of course, what I see on social media isn't really accurate, but it's still been tough to look at these girls who seem like they don't have a care in the world. They can eat whatever they want and still look flawless. They can throw on a bikini and not have to feel like they need to suck everything in so no one sees their pooch hanging over their bikini bottom. As a stress eater who is still too terrified to try on her bikinis, I'm not looking forward to showing my body off when all I want to do sometimes is hide it because I don't feel happy with what I see.

I will always love being a curvier girl and YouTubers like Sierra Schultzzie, Carrie Dayton, and Lucy Wood have given me a new boost of inspiration to embrace the body I have right now. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized either. I feel pressure from myself and certain people in my life to be skinnier and not "let myself go." I

'm so happy to have friends who have helped me through my struggles and support me, even when I don't want to support myself. These YouTuber's have opened my eyes to the fact that this body deserves to be loved just as much as my former, smaller body.

I want to love myself with 100% of my being and I hate how much hatred I've allowed to go on inside of me. There is only one me and I need to be proud of her. Maybe she gained some weight and isn't what society expects from a girl, but she's still amazing and has so much to offer.

I wish I could see more girls like me on YouTube or social media offering a representation of my body type, which I hardly ever see. Aerie and American Eagle have done a fantastic job of including different body types and it's been a great help in seeing that they really to make clothes for all types of women, not just a size zero to two. Added representation really does wonders for someone suffering from low body confidence like me.

While I hope to begin my journey into losing a few pounds this summer by jogging whenever I get the chance, I'm not going to put intense pressure on myself to look a certain way. I am single for the summer and exploring life with my best friends by my side. I'm here to be the best version of me that I can. I cannot let negative thoughts about myself to dictate how I feel every day. I am strong, I am beautiful, and I need to love myself and my body as I am.

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I Believe In Being Selfish

Yes, you read that right.


I believe in being selfish.

I believe in being selfish because, for years, I was not. I would drop anything anytime anyone asked me. I put others needs above my own. I constantly took away from my happiness in order to feed into other people's. At the time, I thought that was the right thing to do. I thought that's what good people did, but I was wrong. I simply got walked all over and let myself become less important and I realized that it was time to become selfish.

Now, I don't mean selfish as in "I don't care about other people" or "I don't have empathy for others." Because, believe me, that will never change. I will always have empathy. I will always care too much. But, I believe that I need to learn to be selfish and choose myself before I'm ever able to choose anybody ever again.

I believe in being selfish with who you spend your days with. I only have intentions of spending it with people who make me feel happy and free. People who make me belly laugh and forget to look at my phone. People who I know care about me just as much as I do them. People who would also drop anything for me.

I believe in being selfish with my time. I learned to say no to things that I really didn't want to do and I started to not concern myself with whether it hurt their feelings or not. I learned to spend my time doing things that made me happy and that I actually wanted to do, and that has made all the difference.

I learned that you can still care immensely about others and still be selfish, and I believe that this is the best way to be.

I believe in being selfish because I will never again put myself last.

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