If the internet could build the food pyramid, pizza would definitely become the foundation, if not the entire structure.
It’s easy to wax poetic about the gooey, hot layers of cheese and sauce on top of a perfectly crisp crust and it’s only slightly harder to find out what pizza can teach you. As you get older, society begins to expect more of you until you end up crushed by a pile of paperwork that has something to do with mortgages and paying taxes on time. It may seem counterintuitive but ordering in from your favorite delivery place can give you a head start on learning all those adult skills old people are constantly going on about, with the added bonus of actually getting a pizza.
- How to Feed Yourself:
You won’t always have your mother around to feed you, but by ordering pizza you are learning how to have food delivered to your mouth hole. This skill will come in handy when you reach college/move on to your adult life and there is nothing edible in your fridge save a three-year-old bottle of mustard from your apartment’s previous tenants. - Giving Directions:
Telling the disgruntled grad student where to deliver your pizza is basically the practice simulation version of giving directions. In real life, you’ll have to give seven different sets of directions to several different people as you also try to navigate whatever bizarre traffic patterns are occurring on the way to your destination. The better you get at describing cardinal directions and being able to picture different streets, the easier your life will be. - Basic Economics:
When you order a pizza you enter into an informal agreement that says you will pay for the food and its delivery to you when it arrives. Trading money for goods and services is a fundamental concept of economics and ordering from your favorite pizza place is practicing one of the basic tenants of modern economics. - How to Make a Proper Phone Call:
Between the texting, e-mails, internet and phones generally becoming smarter than the people who control them, there’s really not a point where a person needs to dial a number and call a complete stranger, save ordering pizza. However, this is a skill that’ll take you far in life, whether you use it to make convincing crank calls, take a job as a telemarketer or end up calling Fortune 500 companies for a job. - Math:
Nothing like trying to coordinate 13 different toppings divided unevenly onto three different sections of a pizza to make you feel grateful for having to take sixth grade pre-algebra. In the world of math, practice tends to make perfect, and the act of ordering pizza will take you through the basic mathematical gauntlet, starting with counting and taking you up to multi-variable algebra for when you need to split the bill, including tip, nine ways when one person has gone suspiciously missing.
