If you’re reading this, there is a pretty good possibility that you have been through at least one job interview. In fact, there is a good possibility that you currently have a job or an internship as of right now, and if not, then you are probably in the middle of applying. First, comes the web search, which I know, can be extremely tedious and time-consuming in and of itself. Then, comes the application that you have to fill out, which includes putting in your name, date of birth, address, and two of the most important pieces, your resume, and cover letter. Oh, and there is also your contact information. Speaking of contact information, may God help you if you do not know your freaking email address or phone number because, at that point, you can say goodbye to the position considering there is no way to reach you! Next, comes the interview, which you earn depending on how satisfied they were with your application… and if you typed in your phone number correctly. This brings me to some of the things I would like to warn you of, having to do specifically with the interview process. Of course, I’d have to agree that there is no one way to answer the interview questions as everyone has their own opinion of what a good answer should be. However, let’s just say that there are some answers that should most certainly not be given during the interview.

Tip 1: Don't Give Your Life Story

One of the most common introductions that are given in the beginning of an interview is to tell them a little about yourself. This answer should be succinct and to the point, and obviously it should tie in with the position you applied for. In other words, talk about yourself in a way that relates to why you decided to apply for that position specifically. Whatever you do, do not, I repeat do not, talk about your freaking life story. Don’t begin by talking about what city you were born in, how your daddy taught you to ride a bike without training wheels, and how you met your lifelong best friend in kindergarten. Trust me, they do not give a shit about any of that. I know, we are so tempted to immediately give out an answer as such as it is more relaxing and less intimidating. But… no, just no. The interviewer who is investing their professional time to interview you and plans on investing money to pay you to do a particular job does not care about the time when you aced your first-grade spelling test.

Tip 2: Don't Pretend You're Perfect

Another question they may ask you, is “What is your greatest weakness?” Even to this day, I wonder why such a question is asked. I understand, “What is your greatest strength?” But, your greatest weakness? Why exactly is that important? Well, they ask you this because they know that nobody is perfect. So, they want to know what specific weakness inhabits you so that they can get a sense of how you have been working to overcome or combat that weakness. With that being said, do not, I repeat do not, answer with, “Well, I wouldn’t say that I have any weaknesses” or “I’m a perfectionist.” Now, you’re doing one of two things: (1) you are either being narcissistic and are bragging about yourself, or (2) you’re just looking for an easy way out of the question. Both are bad, bad, bad! Trust me, they know you have a weakness, as everyone does. We often misinterpret the question as them suspecting that we have a weakness and that there is a huge pet peeve of weaknesses in the workplace. Wrong. There is nothing wrong with weaknesses. The reality is that they want to know how much strength and perseverance you have in combating those weaknesses. Whatever you do, don’t be as narcissistic as Donald Trump. I know, it may have gotten him the presidency, but it won’t get you the $10 per hour position with no guaranteed employment. I don’t get it either, but that’s just how it is.

Tip 3: How To Convince Them You Belong There

A question that will also be asked, most likely towards the end of the interview, is “Why do you want to work for us?” Of course, we all need the money. We all have bills to pay. We all have to keep a roof over our heads. We all have to eat. Nonetheless, do not tell them that you need the money. This basically tells them that you are holding no interest in that job at hand. It also tells them that you are not taking the tasks and duties that come with the job, or even the company as a whole for that matter, with seriousness. Answering with, “because I need the money,” is perfectly fine if you're applying for a job at Burger King or Taco Bell. In fact, that might be the best answer you could provide, because I am sure that the employer expects that the reason for why you choose to flip burgers and clean up grease, is because you REALLY need the money. However, if you are an engineer applying to Dominion Power, an advertiser applying to The Martin Agency, or a journalist applying to CBS 6, you have to provide an answer that says something special about you, something that makes you stand out from the other candidates. After that, once you’re hired, you can go home and make it rain.

Tip 4: Always Be Honest

This is a question that may or may not be asked during an interview. “Why did you leave your last job?” It really just depends on the employer, as to whether or not this is a worthwhile question to be asked. If they do happen to ask it, it's probably because they think that the reason for leaving any previous jobs may have an outcome on how you perform this job. While it may not be asked, better prepare to give a solid and professional answer. With that being said, your answer should include a specific attribute or characteristic that the job you are currently interviewing for has that your previous job did not have. If by any chance you were fired from the job, please, please, please, do not lie! I know, we are all tempted to lie, but really, all it takes is for the employer to call up your previous supervisors and ask why you were fired. Trust me, it is worse for the employer to hear that you were fired because you were late all of the time, than for you to tell them straight up during the interview. The second you lie, you are giving the employer two reasons for why you don’t deserve the job, being that you are a liar and the reason for why you were fired from your last job. I know the temptation to lie is there, but you know what’s also there… cleaning bathrooms at McDonald's for minimum wage.

Tip 5: How To Make Yourself Seem Promising

Probably one of my favorite questions, only because I am someone who enjoys talking about his future aspirations, is “where do you see yourself in five years?” This is the kind of question where you want to give an answer that shows commitment and passion to the industry. Show that this particular position will be beneficial for where you want to go in the future in regards to that industry. This is something I not only like to talk about during interviews but even to my friends in general. Anyway, whatever you say, do not, I repeat DO NOT say that you wish to be in their seat, or the CEO of the company in five years. Facepalm. To whoever is reading this, if you’re sitting there finding it hard to believe that anyone would give such an answer... my friend, you’d be surprised. Another answer that I beg you not to give and this goes out to any current college students, don’t say that in five years you hope to have graduated. Well, no shit. If you are a senior in college, I most certainly hope that you will have graduated. Seriously, though, that would be like a waiter at IHOP asking how you would like your eggs, and you answer with, “I would like them cooked.” Just… don’t.

There are all sorts of questions that may be asked in an interview. It is important to consider every single one of them, as the interviewer is going to look for a solid and professional answer, let alone an answer that actually answers the question. Anytime you have an interview coming up, always do a little rehearsal by making a list of some of the most common questions to be asked and prepare answers for them. Write out a script with the answers if you need to. Stand in front of the mirror and pretend to talk to the interviewer if that helps at all. Videotape yourself and then watch it, while looking for mistakes or ways to improve. Ask a friend to pose as the interviewer. Whatever you do, treat the interview day as if you are getting ready for a play. Have the questions and answer locked up in your mind. The second you are greeted by the interviewer, know what they are going to ask, and know what you are going to say.