Ever since I was little, I had a fascination with planes and airports. I always loved the feeling of walking through the terminals, looking at the destinations on the signs and the large planes waiting on the tar mack to take the anxious passengers there. I always knew I wanted to travel it was just a matter of when and to where.
Studying abroad in college seemed like my destiny. Through careful academic planning, multiple meetings with advisors, and hours researching online, I was able to plan a semester to spend a semester in the United Kingdom. All my dreams were coming true. What could ever be bad about spending a half year of my twenty-somethings exploring the world? Well, this is what no one told me:
1. Traveling is actually exhausting
I was so enthusiastic when I waved goodbye to my parents at the airport and headed to my gate, America's top 100 bumping through my headphones. Fast forward a connecting flight, an international flight, a missed flight, an 8 hour layover, and about 3 miles total in running through various airports, I hardly resembled the wide-eyed, smiling blonde that I'd been a mere 24 hours earlier. All I wanted was sleep, fresh socks, and a burger.
2. Moving to a new place is expensive
You would have thought this would be advertised all over study abroad pamphlets. I was led to believe this experience would cost little more than staying in my college town. There are so many little expenses that sneak up on you. I had to buy a comforter for my bed, pots and pans, cutlery, a laundry bin, travel insurance, and enough Nutella to get me through the lonely nights which would be frequent.
3. It's scary lonely
I knew I was going to miss my family and friends; that was a given. I did go out of state for college, I had a long-distance boyfriend at one point and I had spent the summers away from my best friends, so studying abroad couldn't be that different. But it is. It is a totally different type of lonely when you know no one in the entire country. It is different when all you need is a hug and you don't yet have people to give you those and there's no way home.
4. You'll doubt your decision
It was my second week in the United Kingdom when the doubt started creeping in. Why had I done this? I could spend my travel money and get a ticket home. I could just take this semester "off." It wasn't until I went to lunch with another exchange student from Australia and she told me she wasn't exactly sure why she had paid to leave her friends that I felt better. I decided to stick it out, to muster all my strength to push on, and the next day, I found a castle.
5. Leaving the country doesn't mean leaving your problems
It is truly amazing how the parts of myself that I hate the most, that I want to hide or change, became ever more apparent when I was put in these unusual circumstances. I thought leaving would fix my boy problems, well it didn't. I thought I'd feel more confident about applying to my major, I'm still nervous. I thought it would all fix itself in my absence but the truth is, your life follows you no matter how far you run.
6. You are stronger than you ever thought possible
If there is anything I've learned in this time, it's that I'm capable of a lot more than I ever thought before. I have figured out some of my strengths and weaknesses. I am pretty great at orienting myself in new cities, I am descent at planning and executing trips, and I am not good at missing out on things at home. That still hurts.
There have been so many moments when my stomach turned out of fear and I can feel the lump forming in my throat because the tears are forming but I took a deep breath and carried on because it was the only choice I had. I'm not a very confident person at all but next semester, when my sorority has a social, I will not doubt myself. Once you've walked into four countries alone, a room full of frat guys isn't so scary at all.
