Let’s face it, we have all had relationship regrets. Now, those regrets could be bad and some could be good. I would like to share some of my regrets and how they affected me in the long run. I also want to share what these regrets taught me about love.
It’s Okay to Wait
The first boy I ever fell in love with was amazing. He was there for me when I needed him the most… or so I thought. I thought he felt the same for me. So I gave my all to him. I was 15 years old and I thought giving myself away to the first boy I loved was the right thing to do. I regret it because I know now he was not the one. I should have waited. I wish I would’ve waited. Being abstinent is totally okay. Sometimes all those sex education classes that the schools lay on us is right. Sometimes you find someone and you believe they are the one, it’s okay to try. If you feel passionate for someone and know that in the long run it will work out, wait for them until marriage. There is nothing wrong with that. If that is an issue for the man or woman you are with, then it’s not worth it. Waiting is okay. Timing is everything.
Sometimes You Shouldn’t Fall in Love with Your Best Friend
I once met a boy and we became best friends. We did a lot together and I started to catch feelings. It probably wasn’t the best idea. He loved girls in general and he loved the attention from them. It hurt me because I felt like the wing man. When we were together there was something there. He had a reputation that got him all the girls. Sadly, I became one of them. I let him use me for money. I paid for our food and I bought him shoes. I can never honestly know if he was grateful for that. I drove him everywhere and gave him rides to school. I never asked him to pay me gas money. I gave him my time and love. But he never asked for it. Everyone tried to tell me it wouldn’t work out, I should have listened. I always felt jealous. I always felt alone. It was like talking to a wall. I would tell him how I felt and he just didn’t care. He hurt me mentally and emotionally. In a way, I began to hate myself for loving him. It was like wanting something you couldn’t have. That’s what he was, someone I couldn’t have. So when you do fall in love, make sure it isn’t one of your close friends. It won’t always go as planned. When you find the one, they will become your best friend for sure. I will be honest, I don’t even hear from him anymore. It made me open my eyes to the world about the people who will just use you in life. It is tiring trying to please someone that won’t even notice you. Try to avoid those feelings for your best friend.
Never Force a Relationship to Work
Around my junior year in high school, I met someone. I thought that he could be worth my time. He was a little younger than me but I didn’t mind. We connected for a while. He was my date to my junior prom. As we continued dating, he became very forceful. He would try to get me to do things that I didn’t want to do. I would even say no or stop, but it was like he didn’t hear me. I was frustrated about that. I felt useless. He wouldn’t let me talk to any of my guy friends either. I couldn’t even talk to my actual friends. That is how forceful he became. It killed me because he was obsessive and possessive with me. It was annoying. I tried to talk to him about it and I tried to continue the relationship. I lost interest in him and the relationship. He became someone I disliked. I missed the old him. I just knew that we weren’t going to last long. I knew that the relationship had to end. I was mad at myself because I never told anyone about him forcing me to do stuff I didn’t want to do. He will probably never speak to me and he will probably deny all the things that happened between us. His friends tried to keep me and him together but I just couldn’t. All his friends would stop me and tell me that he missed me. But I didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t take it. If you are ever in an abusive relationship, tell someone. It could be sexually, mentally, emotionally or physically. It is okay to ask for help. Never try to force something to work. If there is no chemistry between you and your lover, don’t force it.
Never Settle for Anything Less
Along the way on my journey throughout high school, I met a lot of boys who were just awful. They treated girls as objects and only wanted that one thing. Trust me, not all guys will be that way. You will find someone that will be grateful to have you. I have had my encounters with the guys that treated girls like crap. They treated me like crap. I always asked them, “Why me?” They always said the same things. They told me because I’m different, that I’m special. I hated it. Those guys will tear you apart. I know they did me. Then rumors spread around the school and you look like the worst person. Never let those boys take a piece of your heart. Never let those boys tear you apart. Never settle for those kinds of guys. You don’t deserve less. You deserve more. You will always deserve something more. Never settle for less. Bigger is better.
When I was going through all of this, I found out a lot about love and myself. I learned that love can hurt. I learned that love takes time. Just like they say in movies/books, “Love is patient and love is kind.” This is all so true. You have to take the pain in order to find happiness. You don’t have to give yourself away so easily. You don’t have to throw yourself at every guy or girl you see. You don’t need to rush love either. Don’t try to ruin something that is good. Take your time and get to know your significate other. Become best friends. Be happy for each other.
I also learned a lot about myself. I learned that I will never be perfect. I have found someone I am good enough for though. To him, I am perfect. I learned that my body is a temple. You have to take care of yourself. You shouldn’t let men or women take advantage of you. You need to make sure that you feeling okay for your health. I learned that I should never hate myself for what has happened to me. I am human and I am going to make mistakes. What happened in my past is just a lesson learned. You live and you learn, right? I learned that what happened to me will never define me. So what it happened? I’m still here and I’m happy now. You have to go through the darkest parts of life to get to the good ones. I also learned that you should never regret your past relationships. I am so grateful to stand in front of those guys and show them what I have become. You should too.