One of the things that makes humans so unique is our rapid ability to adapt and change. Over the past few decades, we have seen a large cultural and mental evolution in regards to the roles of both women and men in society. With these changing roles comes changing perceptions on what it means to be a man or woman. In this modern era I think it's important to talk about what it really means to be a man and how that definition has changed over recent decades.
Previously our society has viewed men as the independent head of house. These men were tough, aloof, showed no weakness, and were right at home drinking a beer and watching football game. They were often depicted possessing labor intensive jobs and being the strict authoritarian parent in the house hold. But, as society has progressed those same stereotypes haven't. Men no longer have to be tough and masculine, rather they can be sweet and in tough with their feminine side. Some would call this a step forward in the societal expectations held for men, but others, like Tomi Lahren of The Blaze, see this as a weakening of the male gender. I however hold the belief that being a man is not rooted in whether or not you're tough, whether or not you can change a tire, or more importantly whether or not you fit into the ancient stereotypical views of a manly man. I think being a man incorporates a few key ideals and I am not saying that these ideals are limited to just men. However, in my mind in "men" in this era embody a few key traits that separate them from boys.
Men are strong and I know it seems like I'm falling right into decade old stereotypes but, I am not talking about physical strength. You can be a man and never have lifted a weight in your entire life. It does physical strength to be strong, it does take an unbreakable will and determination to never give up. A real man is never defeated. Sure, they might lose and get knocked down but they never give up. They have a mental fortitude that allows them to push on against any and all odds. Mental strength and toughness should be the measure of a man and not the width of his biceps.
Men are respectful to all the come in contact with. I am so tired of hearing that "true men are respectful to women" because that phrase is incomplete. A man is not only respectful to the women he meets but, also the men he meets as well. Respect is given to everyone that a man comes into contact with regardless of age, race, gender, or any other qualifier. A man treats all those around him with the utmost respect. This notion that men must be chivalrous to women and women alone is antiquated. A real man is chivalrous to women and brotherly to men, even if he might not receive that same respect from them.
Men constantly seek to improve themselves and others. No one on this earth is perfect and that's simply a fact of life. However, accepting that fact while still trying to better yourself is what separates the men from the boys. A man never stops trying to better himself whether that be physically, academically, religiously, or in any other way imaginable. In addition, a man always lends a helping hand to those that are also trying to better themselves. In this highly competitive society we live in the true mark of man is a willingness to help others who are struggling beside you. The improvement of himself and those around him are paramount to a man and it is what sets them apart from the rest of the pack.
Men are loyal to those they call friend and family. They are always there when you need them even if it is not convenient for them. They are a shoulder to cry on, a voice to guide you, a friend to listen to you, and a supporter who will have your back when you need it the most. Men stick with you even if abandoning you would be easier. They never turn their back on those who count on them and they are more reliable than the sunset or sunrise. A man sticks with you because he knows it is the right thing to do.
Men are honest and do not hide how they truly feel. They do not lie when it benefits them and they tell the truth even if it hurts them. A man without honesty is simply a shadow of what it truly means to be man. Being truthful, although moral right, is not always an easy path but, a man walks this path unerringly and without hesitation.
Men are not afraid to be who they truly are and to me this is their most defining trait. No matter what society says or thinks of a man they are never anything but themselves. They do not conform to what society tells them to be. They are who they are and they display their true selves proudly. To those men out there struggling with this last point I want you to know that no matter what people say about you, you are a man worth more than your weight in gold. If you like scarves wear a scarf, if you enjoy knitting then knit, if you like designing clothes go design, and ignore those people who would tell you that your wrong.
And to you Ms. Lahren, the self proclaimed expert on what qualifies men as men, I have one thing to say. If you want a stereotypical manly man, then find one. Stop trying to say all men have to be that way. There is nothing wrong with being manly man. But, there is nothing wrong with not being one. Ms. Lahren if you ever read this know I nearly laughed out loud when you said men are weak because they do not know how to change a tire. With all respect due to you, maybe you're the weak one. By imposing traditional gender stereotypes you are advocating for the same ideologies behind keeping women in the kitchen. If a woman can't cook and a man can't change a tire so what? That does not make them less of a man or woman. Men and women are changing and our ideas on behind what defines them needs to as well.
Thank you and have a nice rest of your day.
