I was sitting on the bench, watching my “little” brother in judo class, when a man came in flustered and running late. He had already managed to kick off his shoes and was now pulling a gi jacket over himself and tying his belt. He stepped on the edge of the mat, bowed, and then smiled. I was floored. He was so handsome. And I? Well, I was there just there. A month later was the first time we spoke to each other. Turns out, it took me strapping on a gi and stepping onto the judo mat myself for him to even notice me enough to talk to me during a water break. Two months after that we went on our first date.
It was a perfect disaster. I was swollen because I had gotten two wisdom teeth removed and nervous. This was the cute guy I had swooned over, the guy that left me all starry eyed because of a smile. I was totally weird and awkward, but he didn’t know that yet. I wanted to at least ease him in, so I answered a water bottle like a phone call. I wish I could say I saw kidding, but I’m not. We went to the mall and my “swollenness” began aching, I mean brutally aching. I needed ice urgently and so I pressed a water bottle to my face and he looked at me like I was completely off my rocker and said, “That’s not how you use that.” Embarrassed and trying to relieve the idiocy of the situation, I answered the water bottle, “Hello, oh yes, yes,” turned to him and said, “it’s for you." He burst into laughter, the kind that makes you throw your head back and is highly contagious. All of a sudden, our date that had begun at 3 p.m. in Aventura had run itself to 4 a.m. on Miami Beach. We enjoyed each other’s company so much that we just kept going on dates, the most natural course of action.
There was only one problem. He didn’t live here, this amazing guy. In fact, he didn’t even live in the same state, country, or even continent. He resided on the other side of the Atlantic, he had come to the U.S. for a six-month internship back in April, and we started dating in August. Bummer. We both knew long distance was hard, and when we talked about it during the early stages of our romance, it was hard to imagine either of us, being the kinds of people we were, engaging in such a restrictive way with each other. But how does one control their feelings like that? We were saying long distance didn’t fit us, yet we kept seeing each other every day, knowing that on Sept. 21, he’d leave. We kept falling further into each other and becoming more involved in each other’s lives. How could we say goodbye without at least trying? So we did.
We didn’t know when we’d see each other again. We thought maybe spring break, we didn’t know how to go from seeing one another every day to not at all, and we were still in this budding relationship. It had everything to go wrong. Skype dating became an actual thing, texting and WhatsApp calls became our daily forms of communication. Slowly, we were becoming accustomed to this new form of dating. I was able to fly over to him in December for Christmas and New Year's, mind you, I didn’t even know his family and yet I was traveling 5,000 miles to meet them and stay lodged in their home. What if they didn’t like me? What if I talked too much? What if my customs were completely irrational? Thinking back, it was crazy. I have no idea how it worked out, but it did. I loved his family, from mom and dad to brother and both grandmas. They were all amazing.
A couple of months later he came to visit me for spring break and we spent another two great weeks together. Yes, we had our ups and downs, and yes, it was hard, very hard, but we made it work. Then in May, when my summer vacation began, he came to visit me again, and slowly but surely, our relationship was making it.
Patrick and I are still together, it’s not always easy to be in a relationship with someone 5,000 miles away and with a six-hour time difference. We’ve been through a lot; a really bad car crash, Disney World, an ER hospital visit, meeting each other’s families, many of life’s big disappointments, and spending the holidays together. Our relationship does not lack in big experiences; instead, we miss out on the smaller moments, the little things.
My long distance relationship blossomed into a friendship. Patrick and I don’t see each other as merely boyfriend and girlfriend anymore; instead, we see each other as best friends. When all life affords you is words, you learn to get very close with what you have.
In this day and age people shy away from what we are doing. You need a lot of trust, patience, and self-control to take on a relationship where you don’t get to see the person every day or even every month. You need to accept that your significant other has a life where you aren’t included, where you aren’t present. This is more of a personal battle than anything else. Many give up before even trying because they want to experience things alone or not feel tied back, these are misconception of what a good relationship is. If you can get through your inner battles and learn that a healthy relationship does not betray you, dismay or enslave you (Mumford & Sons), your relationship grows into something quite rare.
