My first article here on Odyssey. What was I going to write about? "Man Crush Monday!" I thought. I crafted the perfect article, one that was humorous and would show everyone that I could be funny and not take myself so seriously. I was convinced that this was the best way to first present myself as a part of this new community. And while everyone tried to come up with their articles by our deadline, I found myself just sitting back and anxiously waiting for our articles to be published. Quite honestly, it was a bit frustrating, but now that I look back on having the publishing date pushed back a week, I realize that it was a blessing in disguise. After getting back from my new job at Macy's a few hours ago, right before getting to work on my online college degree program, the inspiration to completely change my article struck. Anyone who knows me can tell you that behind my semi-shy exterior is a quirky, intelligent and outgoing person. I don't have to prove that to anyone, and besides, I feel that my writing speaks for itself. Behind these words lie the experiences of someone who has lived through many tough times in nearly a quarter of her life.

At first glance, I come off as a normal twenty-something. I'm a self-professed bookworm and I guess perhaps you could have called me a "teacher's pet" growing up (I'm sure that someone said it behind my back anyways). Without knowing me, what you would not know is that I have been living with a rare heart condition called Shone's Syndrome since I was about two months old. As if that wasn't enough for any young girl to handle, this was also the reason that my biological father left my mom and I very early on in my life. Having this condition required me to have my first open heart surgery at three months old. After a dizzy spell that almost made me pass out when I was seven and becoming extremely sick, I was rushed into the hospital to receive a pacemaker. Mind you, this is a small electrical device that many senior citizens are given in order to control the natural rhythms of the heart. It was nearly unheard of for a child my age to require one in order to leave a healthy and fulfilling life. By no means has my life ever been easy due to yearly check-ups, various medical procedures every few years and feeling like an outsider when I tried so desperately to just fit in. I was bullied in elementary school and found it extremely difficult to make friends. One incident that sticks out in my mind to this day was being knocked to the ground right before recess. Had my lunchbox not miraculously cushioned my fall, I probably would have hit my head instead of only my back.

I dreaded going to school most days. I absolutely loved my studies, however, I kept my distance outside of the select group of friends that I had. When my parents decided that we were going to move back to my mom's hometown (we were currently living with my stepdad's family in his hometown), I was ecstatic that I would have the opportunity to start fresh where no one really knew me. Middle school and high school were far from the fantasy that I had conjured up in my head. I was bullied all just the same, except it was in a more subtle way, perhaps so that people could convince themselves that it was all in my head. You can't ever really comprehend the reasons behind a bully's actions, except that they must be insecure. This mostly fed my insecurity at a time when I was struggling to navigate the everyday struggles of being a teenager. While everyone was playing at gym, I sat on the bleachers hidden behind my book since I am medically unable to play contact sports. As my high school years passed, I managed to make a few friends, yet there was always this "me vs. them" feeling that sat in the back of my mind. Hearing the bell ringing at the end of the school day was an accomplishment knowing that I was that much closer to graduating. School was a safe haven for me inside of the classroom as I began to find my purpose in life, but outside of those four walls, I was an outsider in a strange but familiar world.

My first two years of college were when I truly broke out of my shell. I still held strong to that notion that I was meant to be an elementary school teacher, which was unusual for most of the students that were still figuring out what careers they would like to pursue. Though it may sound odd to you reading this right now, I have felt that in some way I owed the educational system for being that shining light during some dark times in my life. Rather than go on and tell you more about my struggles, I pride myself on being a positive person, so I want you to know that this story has a happy ending. Yes, I am what I jokingly call "chronically single." I have had many friends come and go over the years, which is a shame, but if my unpredictable life has taught me anything thus far, it is to be grateful for the good things that occur just when I need them most. I'm still shy to a certain degree, but I no doubt have found my voice. I found it by being a part of Student Government and meeting some amazing people in my college who appreciated all that I had to offer as a student and friend. It wasn't until I rediscovered my love of writing last year that my voice became an undeniable sonic boom. I will, without question, have many ups and downs in the future; however, I am the best version of what I could have ever hoped to be. I have survived some pretty unimaginable challenges already, so there is nothing that will stand in my way. I just hope that the world is ready for me. :)