By the time I was 12 years old, I discovered my first stretch marks. I was trying on a pair of shorts, and when I turned around to admire them, I saw the red, lightning bolt-shaped line hidden in the back of my knee. I ignored it, thinking it was a scratch of some sort. A few days later, I was getting ready to spend time with friends when I saw that same pesky mark on my leg. I frantically looked through the drawers in my bathroom for my mom's makeup. I put layers of foundation on the back of my legs to get ready for the day.
I was 12 and already self-conscious of my growing body.
At age 14, I began to gain weight. Just a little bit at a time, which was hardly enough to make me notice. By the time I was 15, I fully hated my body. I didn't understand why my body was covered in stretch marks. Doesn't this only happen to women double my age? Doesn't this happen after you have children? My stretch marks and weight gain were a result of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Though it made me feel better to know that there was something behind the lines that seemed to have taken over my body, I was miserable.
Mass media puts this idea through our brains that beauty is flawless skin and a small waist. For years, beauty has been advertised as seemingly flawless men and women who have been airbrushed and photoshopped, both of which are impossible standards to achieve. But recently, the body positivity movement has been catching more eyes. Women like Whitney Thore are shedding light on things like PCOS that alter our appearances.
If I didn't have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I might not be as understanding when it comes to loving my body and being accepting about others'. I might have viewed beauty as Barbie Dolls and airbrushed models.
There is more to a person than their body. There are vibrant smiles and hilarious laughs. There are personalities that are unforgettable. There are people so unique that the constellations would be envious. Though there is more to a person that their body, learning to accept bodies different than yours is important. No two bodies are exactly identical. Support other men and women. Recognize the beauty in plus size individuals as well as straight size. Recognize the beauty in stretchmarks and cellulite. Recognize the beauty in wrinkles and acne scars.
PCOS brought be closer to my body. It taught me to accept the things about myself that I wouldn't normally accept. Though it's taken me years to accept my body, every bad day has been worth it.
