I can't believe it's getting close to the one year mark of the day I became single. High school me would be having a fit at how long I've gone without some other guy attached to my hip. The past eleven months have been eye opening for me and I couldn't be more thankful for what I've learned in the past almost year, especially since this is a new chapter for me. Starting college alone, without any sort of relationship, was extremely beneficial and I wouldn't change it if I could. My plans to go off to a university starting my freshman year didn't go as planned - I stayed home and went to a community college - and looking back, I can see why that happened, and it was a blessing in disguise. As bad as it hurt to get the rejection letter from my dream school, I see now why everyone uses the phrase "everything happens for a reason." I've become a totally different person by staying home and working on myself, which has made me ready to transfer to the same university that rejected me at first. Here are a few things I've learned while being single that has made me ready to start my new life at my university.
1. Don't Rush Things
I can't stress this enough. No matter what you do; if it's a relationship, buying a car, choosing a school, etc...Don't. Rush. Things. This is part of the problem that I had in my relationship. I rushed into too many things with him that only hurt me in the end. We rushed into things physically and emotionally, and we also rushed into planning things. We thought we had everything figured out - we talked about when we were thinking of getting engaged not even five months into the relationship (stupid high schoolers), and what we wanted to name our kids and blah blah blah. Basically, we were naïve and thought everything was going to work out, so we rushed into things too quickly and made stupid decisions. Moving on with my life, I know now that it's better to slow down and think things through before you do something you might regret.
2. Focus On School
This is a basic one that sounds clichè but it's true. When I was in high school and dating this person, I didn't put as much focus on my school work as I should have. I'm not blaming this person completely for my lack of effort but I was distracted with my relationship, sports, and other things that caused me to not try as hard as I should of in some areas. When I got to college, I had no distractions anymore and I set a goal for myself: getting into that dream school. I worked hard with studying, going to class, and making sure I was getting the grades I needed to get accepted into my university. My hard work payed off when I found out I got in and since then, I couldn't be happier.
3. Work On Myself
I never realized how unhappy I was with myself until I was single. Everyone has their flaws and things they want to change about themselves but it seemed like I had an endless amount of flaws and issues. Another clichè saying I found to be true is "you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself." I started looking at myself and pointing out things I wanted to change. Of course I have those physical characteristics I wanted to fix like smaller thighs, flatter stomach, toned body, etc. But I also had personal issues that I needed to tackle too. This is something I'm still working on but being single has given me the opportunity to start focusing on myself and getting to that place I need to be before I start dating again.
4. How To Become More Independent
This one can fall under the category above, but it's something big that I've learned. I've always kind of been someone who can do certain things by herself, but I've become more independent over the last year than I've ever been. It's the little things like going to the mall by myself, going to the store and buying things to make myself for dinner, going to the dentist or doctor alone and other little things like that that have allowed me to see that I can do things on my own and be just fine - I don't need someone with me 24/7 to be there with me and help me. I've become more reliant on myself for things and I'm grateful for that.
5. What I Want In Someone
Over the past year, I've become more "picky," I guess you could say, about what it is I want in my next relationship. Personally, even though it's been a year, I still don't think I'm ready to start another relationship, but I know what I want in the person I date next. When I look back at my failed relationship and the person I was with, I see the things he lacked and the things I needed him to be. No man on earth is going to be perfect but setting standards and knowing the characteristics and qualities I want will help me find the man that's perfect for me.
