Every day, I wake up in a world where I don’t like what I see in the mirror. There’s a person there that stares at me with judgement in her eyes and a frown on her face. She says, “You’re not pretty, you’re not gorgeous, you’re not anything.” And I believe her. Who could love something like this? I may be lonely and unloved forever, but that is just something that I have come to accept.

I don’t like the belly that jiggles, the thighs that rub together, the face that seems too round, or the big rear that I carry. I don’t like the looks and rejection that people send my way, even though I pretend that they don’t faze me. I constantly dream of times that I overcome the looks and what I have to offer, but I know they can never become reality.

Yes, I have the power to change it. But, I can’t do anything when people doubt me or even decide to put me down. I can’t do anything when I get looks at the gym for trying to better myself. It hurts to try and shop for cute clothes and having to turn to the internet because nothing fits, or it’s crazy out of my budget.

But, this is who I am.

I feel comfortable in my skin, but I wish I could change the look. Every magazine I see makes me want to rip it in pieces and scream to the world, “Accept me! I’m a good person!” I want to cry when I feel the anger and hate I have when I look in the mirror. I want to run and hide when someone compliments me because there is no way to believe that what they say is true. I have been let down so many times, that one compliment doesn’t faze me.

So, what can you do?

All I ask is that you don’t give up on me. Don’t tell me I’m stupid for the negativity because I know I am. Try to be patient and know that self-love and self-acceptance is a journey. Someday, I’ll be able to look in the mirror and grin, but today is not that day. It may not even be tomorrow, but eventually, my day will come.