For me, ending sports in high school was worse than any break up I’ve ever gone through. In fact, I have more emotions towards sports than I do toward most people in general. When I played my last soccer game and ran my last 800-meter race in high school, I didn’t realize until my summer entering college that there was no next year. There wasn’t going to be any more summer sessions for me, no more morning lifts, no more timed miles, and certainly no more games and races.

Entering college I felt like a lost cause. I was supposed to go to the gym alone? I was supposed to make sure that I kept in shape without being told to run two miles before practice? The only person to blame for my breakup with sports was myself. I had decided that I didn’t want to play sports in college and that I needed to go to a school that advanced me with a better education than I could have received at a school where I could have played sports at.

It was my own selfish need to make a name for myself in the world that I had decided to leave sports behind for a prestigious state school. Although my life has been filled with so many amazing opportunities, I will always miss playing sports in high school.

Being fortunate enough to go to a large school, I’ve been able to quench my thirst by playing club sports. Most people compare our club sports to Division 3 athletics, so I know that I’m not missing out on what I thought I was. Not playing a sport in college has reminded me that I’m able to have a life that I want to lead. I’m able to participate in more than one organization, and I’m able have groups of friends from all over campus, not just on a team. In other words: I’m able to be myself.

It’s okay to be a “washed up” high school athlete while you enter college and that’s something that takes some time to figure out for yourself. No one can deny the athlete you once were just because you decided not to pursue athletics after high school. The memories I made, the cleats and sneakers I broke in, will forever be a part of who I am today and that’s something no one can take away from me.