"Did you just fart?"
"Wait what did you say?" - "I didn't say anything.."
"Are you okay?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"Do you have Tourette's or something" -well kinda!
I think out of everything anyone has ever said, the "did you just fart?" Is the most embarrassing. For those of you who have been around me, you might have asked yourself these questions in regards to a little noise coming from my mouth. I can assure you, it's not a fart.
Living with a minor vocal tic is definitely not as bad as having the more severe types of Tourette's, but it does have an affect on a person. When I was younger, I would try to "hold it in" only to find that the result would be 10 times worse, and a lot louder. I remember seeing a neurologist about this, he offered medicine but then went on a rampage about the ADA, (the American with Disabilities Act) and continued saying that my teachers weren't allowed to have a problem with it and everyone just needed to let it happen. Words that to a 6th grader, are a little intimidating. Nerve racking even, because a doctor telling you what you need to do when you barely have enough confidence to be okay with the stupid grunt noise coming from your closed lips is like a zoo keeper telling an elephant to make friends with the mouse, it's not a thing.
Since then, I have become more okay with it. I still feel like it sounds louder than it actually does but no one seems to acknowledge it anymore. Maybe everyone I know is just used to it, or they don't notice, but I definitely notice it. My vocal tic might not affect others the way it affects me, but I still become a little self-conscious about it. In a quiet environment I'm always nervous because in my mind, my tic is going to be a lot more noticeable.
There are people with much worse tics than mine, but we all, in a way, feel the same. I'm writing this on a day that this evil tic is taking over my day. I'm tired from just a vocal tic, I can't even begin to imagine how people with motor tics and more severe vocal tics manage.
I want to encourage people to become more aware of Tourette's syndrome and vocal tics. These are involuntary - not a thing we do on purpose. Jokes about Tourette's are not funny. Next time you see a person being annoying, they may not be able to help it. Before opening your big mouth and making the person feel even more self conscious about their neurological disorder, maybe you should think of the why. Why is this person making that noise? Why is he hitting himself? Why in the world is that beautiful young lady pulling out her eyelashes and eyebrows? It's not always their fault. A lot of the problems in this world can be solved if people were just aware and thought before they spoke.
