I consider my college experience to be significantly different than all of my friends who go to different schools, more specially, who are involved with sororities and fraternities. At my small, Jesuit school in the city of Baltimore, sororities and fraternities are non-existent. This did not discourage me; in fact, I was rather encouraged, hoping that I would find a real friend group rather than a forced friend group through an organization that considered themselves “brothers” and “sisters.” Although I find myself fitting in with a select few people at my school, I wish I had a deeper connection with more people on my campus. More so, I often feel out-of-the-loop when I reconnect with my friends who are in sororities and fraternities. Overall, I have often regretted not attending a school with the option of joining a sorority.
When each member of a friend group chooses their own path by choosing their own school separate from their friends, it can be competitive when it is time to rekindle. Everyone is looking forward to telling his or her craziest stories, funniest memories, newest friendships, and wild nightlife. However, this can be extremely difficult to keep up with as the non-sorority friend because you do not have any stories about rushing, being hazed, or sisterhood.
As the non-sorority friend, I often find myself not understanding the sorority-lingo, causing me to awkwardly stare at my phone during conversations and laugh at things I don’t understand. Although I am happy that my friends love their schools and close-knit friend groups, or “sisters”, in such a short period of time, I cannot help but feel envious. My home is supposed to be my safe place, my peace, my comfort zone. However, when the people I have known for my whole life begin speaking in a way I don’t understand in an unrelated way, it can be uncomfortable, making me feel out-of-place rather than at home. It is difficult to see that I’m not apart of my home friends’ new lives or have anything about my life relate to theirs.
As the non-sorority friend, it can be incredibly lonely and even frustrating to not be able to connect with my childhood friends, the people who I have had such a strong connection with my whole life. However, as the non-sorority friend, I have grown. I have grown to see that things change, even when you do not want them to or expect them to. As the non-sorority friend, I find that I should be happy for other people, even if it hurts myself a little. As the non-sorority friend, I learn to not take things personally because my friends don’t mean to leave me out; they are just excited about their new experiences. As the non-sorority friend, I see that nothing lasts forever; the new friends my friends made may only be temporary, or our friendship will only be temporary – whatever is meant to be will be. As the non-sorority, I learned that real friendships are the ones that have both sides putting in equal effort. As the non-sorority friend, I have discovered that it is OK that I am not in one.
