Let's take a minute and talk about a summer experience all bigger girls will relate to. You finally get the nerve to go to the pool over the summer in your one-piece bathing suit (because that's all you feel comfortable in, or maybe still not really comfortable at all). You take your first step out by the pool and heads turn, people start talking, and now all of a sudden you have the urge to turn around, go home, and cry because you feel like you're being made fun of. You see other girls lounging in their two-piece bikinis, sun-kissed and laughing with their very fit boyfriends, and here you are. You feel alone, ashamed for even wanting to come out in public in your bathing suit, and annoyed because you just wanted to enjoy a couple hours by yourself at the pool.
Ladies, I have been there before. I am not little by any means, and I have always been super self-conscious about it. I have lost weight, and I have gained it back. It's a continuous cycle. Trust me, I get it. I know what it feels like. You're not alone in this. I believe, however, that God made me this way for a reason. I may never know that reason, but I try not to question it. Sometimes it's hard not to question it, though, especially when I'm sitting poolside in my one-piece while other girls lounge by the pool with their perfect skin, perfect tans, and perfect bodies. Naturally, most of the time they are at the pool with their model boyfriends, as well.
Being the big girl at the pool is never easy, but it's something you have to embrace. I choose to enjoy my time at the pool even if I'm alone and self-conscious. You have to embrace what you have and not worry about what you think you lack. Some girls wish to have the curves that you have. Some wish that they weren't so skinny. Some might even wish to be you, even if you wish to be them. Each and every one of us is made perfectly imperfect, and that is okay.
To the "big girls" at the pool this summer, have fun. Enjoy your time there even if you went alone. Only you can define yourself. Only you can make sure you have a good time. Only you can decide to ignore the petty comments and looks. Harriett Turk said it best when she said, "I am somebody special! If you don't like it, TOUGH! Cuz I am cool enough, smooth enough, and doggone it, I am HOT enough to be who I want to be." I am not exaggerating when I say that I reminded myself of this quote over and over for a couple months. It's a simple confidence, and one to live by.
Go to the pool this summer and have fun. Forget about the rest of the world. Enjoy a little you time and relax.
