There's a thin line between love and hate.

There's a small difference between black and white.

You only need small scissors to cut this red string of fate.

Maybe you're OK and this is out of spite.

But I can't seem to hold back my emotions.

I replay our memories day after day.

And in my dreams, they play in slow motion.

I know, I might hate you, but I don't want them to go away.

From the outside looking in:

I see our happy family.

It's Christmas morning and I'm in the kitchen.

You and our son are playing casually.

The dogs hover around the gate,

You all ask why do I get to snack first?

"If I'm cooking it then I don't have to wait!"

"We'll just starve! And that's worst!"

You come into the kitchen and kiss my cheek.

I put my hand on my belly and smile.

The words, "She's really in there" leaves me weak.

I stand in awe, at our perfect lifestyle.

All of this changes and I'm back in reality.

I text you that I'm thinking of her... and I miss you.

Knowing that you'll respond is a guarantee.

You will still talk to me, after everything I've put you through.

I tore our family apart.

And I had the nerve to blame you.

I wish I had a button that said "RESTART"!

Sometimes, I know you wish for it too.

I called you toxic and abusive.

I said our love was too different and I couldn't deal.

Taking that bus back home, I promised to remain reclusive.

But here I am again, breaking that forbidden seal.

I text you sweet nothings.

You send me your heart in return.

And then I get confused cause I didn't want your loving.

I can't tell you what I wanted or what I yearn.

Playing with your heart makes me a terrible person.

I don't mean to be this way, it just happens.

But as the days go on my emotions just worsen.

Don't text me back. Don't let it happen.

Don't let me hurt you once more.

I can't stop myself from wanting your voice.

Let this be the toxic part of Love and War.

I can say I'm toxic, but I promise... it's not by choice.