Disclaimer: Accurate 99% of the Time.
Mustang/Camero. Really doesn't need much of a description. If I hear you squealing away in one of these “sports" cars, it can be automatically inferred you are probably a tool or are obsessed with yourself and your car and are the furthest thing away from an athlete. These cars also read "high maintenance." Personally, I prefer to be the high maintenance one in a relationship.
4Runner/Suburban. Also known as the classic frat mobile. I have a love/hate relationship with these. They are essentially the car form of worn out New Balances and Hawaiian button-downs. These cars give off a laid back, IDGAF vibe that girls always seem to be drawn to. Some call this the “dad effect."
Volvo. These guys are the smart ones. Usually a science, engineering or sustainability major and conscious of money and the environment. I can't help but also be reminded that Edward Cullen drove one in Twilight, which never fails to add to the appeal of Volvos.
Lifted Monster Truck. I had to differentiate because there are two very big categories of truck drivers; there are not to be confused. The horrid lifted truck driver usually has a case of short man syndrome and is making up for lacking in, well, other areas. They usually have to hoist themselves into their stacked truck by taking a running start. Avoid these trucks (and their owners) at all costs, because you should never ride with in a vehicle you risk tearing a hamstring just trying to get in it. Mostly found on Auburn's campus.
Regular Truck. These are the good ol' country boys. Perfect for hauling you in the back to tailgate for a rodeo or country music concert. Keep these boys around.
Tahoe. My personal preference. These trucks say classic, fratty and their owners (usually) have their lives somewhat together. Maybe a business or poli-sci major. Could also be just another spoiled rich kid living off their dad's money, but I'll take my chances. They also have great speakers to bump to the latest Drake or blast country music when used for tailgating out of the spacious bed.
Jeep. Ahh, the adventuresome boys. Always down for a hike in the mountains or a back-road adventure. A Jeep is made for breaking rules. These guys enjoy nature and driving around with the top off. Beware: they use the pick up line, “Wanna come ride in my Jeep?" on many girls, so don't fall for it.
I hope I've saved you the trouble of actually getting to know a guy when you can just as easily judge him by his vehicle choice.
