This past week was a special time in the semester at the small Christian university I attend. It was a week of drawing closer to God that we call convocation. During that week, we have a total of six services. There are four night services as well as the regular chapel service on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. At each night service, different speakers come and talk about whatever God puts on their hearts. During this most recent convocation, God revealed some things to me that I would like to share. I hope you can relate, and that you find this to be encouraging.
During the first two night services, I listened to the speakers with some level of expectation. The convocations I have been to in the past were all great, and I was expecting this one to be great as well. What I was not expecting was to not be impacted by the first two speakers. They definitely said things that I can apply to my life, but their messages did not speak to where I currently am in my walk with God. That changed on the third night, though.
On the third night of convocation, the speaker spoke about God speaking to us. He talked about what happens when God speaks to us, and what happens afterward. His entire message revolved around the story of Elijah.
This was a message that spoke to me. I have had moments in the past where I felt as if God was speaking to me, but they were always followed by times of doubt. I longed to feel him speak to me again; that way I could once again be sure that what I had experienced in the past had truly happened. At the end of the service, the speaker gave an altar call. The worship band began playing, and I went down to the altar to see if God would speak to me.
When I got to the altar, I first knelt, then ended up lying flat on my stomach with my face on the floor. My body shook with the intensity of my weeping, and I felt and heard God's gentle voice in my heart. He told me that I have been looking for love and affirmation on earth, instead of in him. He said that I had been looking in the wrong places, while the right place, the place where I can find all the love and affirmation I need, has been within reach this entire time. I don't need to look to my friends and family to try to fill those empty places in my life. Those things are only temporary. Instead, I need to look to God. God is not temporary, and he will never abandon any of us. God is infinite, and his love endures forever. He is the source of everything I need. He is the source of love. He is the source of affirmation. He is the source of my joy, and he is the source of my confidence. All I need to do to find these things is acknowledge my need for him, acknowledge my sin, and ask him to give me those things. It is simple, but it is also exactly what I needed to hear that night.
After the service, when I was getting ready to go to sleep, I had a sense of just how close God actually is. He felt so close that I didn't even need to reach out. All I needed to do was speak, and he would hear and understand. God wants all of us to be that close to him. There will be times when we stray, but when we realize that he isn't as close anymore, we need to also realize that we are the ones who moved. God is unmoving and unfailing. He will never leave us. He will not even so much as take a step away from us. If we drift away, he will pursue us with a fierce, enduring, stubborn love that will never give up, no matter how many times we deny it.
I know that it won't be easy for me to keep these things in mind, especially when I'm frustrated, stressed, or just generally in a bad mood, but that does not change how true these things are. It will be hard to stay mindful of these things as life goes on, but God will always try to get me to remember. He will always try to get us to remember that he is the source of everything we need, and that he is so close that all we need to do is speak and rest in his assurance that he will work everything out.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
