If you struggle with depression, you know that every day can be a battle. Not just a battle, but an uphill battle in the rain with a very, very heavy backpack. Of course, if you have depression, you also know that it's terrible; I would not wish mental illness upon my worst enemy. However, like any challenge in life, it has many lessons to teach, and I can say with confidence that I wouldn't be the person I am today without my personal fight against depression. Here are a few of the things I have learned from my unwelcome guest.
1. People won't always get it, and that's okay.
As with any invisible illness, there will inevitably be people who think that you are acting out for attention or sympathy. The paradox of depression is that the better you handle it, the more likely it is that others will accuse you of faking it. Just because you went to the gym doesn't mean you're better. It just means you're trying to keep my mental illness from taking over your life.
2. Distractions are, well, a welcome distraction.
When you are depressed, it always seems like the best thing to do is nothing at all. Your bed becomes even more inviting, and you start looking for ways to clear your schedule so you can be alone with your thoughts. As you probably know, however, wallowing is the least helpful thing in the entire world, and sometimes keeping your mind occupied can make you feel a lot better. Call your friends. Go to the grocery store. Go see a movie. Anything is better than going over and over the same negativity in your head.
3. It never picks a convenient time to strike.
The stereotypical idea of depression is probably a guy laying in bed, staring at a neon clock that reads 12:20 a.m. People without depression probably think that it waits until you aren't busy to strike. Unfortunately, that just isn't the case. Depression can hit you whenever it wants to. It can visit at 9:29 p.m., when you're watching reality television with your roommate, or 2:15 p.m., when you're studying for an exam. And it doesn't take an off day, either. Easter weekend, you say? Relaxing with your family? Sorry, no breaks.
4. Your perception of yourself is probably wrong.
One of the most widely-felt symptoms of depression is low self-esteem, and everyone I have ever spoken to with the mental illness feels it. It's like looking at yourself in a mirror, except that you're wearing strange glasses that skew your perception of who you are. Parts of you that others find quirky and fun, you start to view as annoying. You have a super cute freckle on your nose, but through your Depression Goggles all you can see is a blemish. Keep in mind, these things aren't real. It's just another aspect of the struggle you face with depression.
5. Sometimes, you really do need help.
Not everything in your life is a solo mission. Sometimes, even as an adult, you will have to ask for help, and depression often requires this of you. There are low points so low that only medical attention can help. In those cases, you have to let go of your pride, fear, and dread, and just say "Hey, I'm not okay right now."
6. It's alright to not be alright.
When you are depressed, you can't always pretend to be fine. Yeah, you promised that girl from history class that you'd study with her, but it's kinda hard to think about the Civil War when you don't feel like doing life. Sometimes, you just have to take some time away. This doesn't make you weak; if anything, it makes you strong. You have to know your own limits.
7. You aren't broken.
Depression can make you feel like a malfunctioning toy in a factory full of working ones. There is something really disheartening about realizing that not everyone deals with the same struggles as you. However, just because you have an extra set of hurdles to jump doesn't mean you're a poorer athlete. The harder you have to work, the stronger you will become. Depression isn't ideal, but there is a silver lining.
8. Better days are coming.
Depression is a roller coaster, and every time you hit a low, you have to remember that there is a high just around the next curve. At the time, it's hard or even impossible to think that way, but as someone who has been on this ride for years, I can verify that better days will find you. If you're having better days now, make sure you cherish them, because you never know when the next hurdle will be.
