College was never something that I questioned. I would go and I would succeed. But once I got there I had one question. How? How could I leave everything I had known my whole life for something completely different? At this point, I had already had anxiety for a multitude of years and I had learned different ways of handling it. But the idea of going to college had me baffled. How could I with my anxiety?

I did it. And I can't lie, it was hard. There were times, more than one, that I thought that I couldn't handle what was given to me. I cried, and I cried a lot. I broke down into the smallest of pieces. But I did it. The key to anxiety, for me, was not different medications. It was friends and family. They were there each and every time that I needed them.

At first, classes were the worst of it. Freshmen year I never thought I would make it to the end of one semester, let alone two. First I got lost, then I got nervous because I didn't know my professors, then I got uncomfortable because I didn't know my classmates, then I got scared because there were upperclassmen in the same class as me. Eventually I adjusted to each of these things. It took time, but as I continued on I learned how to deal with each of those problems. I learned the campus, I got to know each of my professors on a more personal level as my classes continued (perks of my smaller school), and I learned how to speak to my other classmates without crying. It all took time, but it was worth it because it took some of the weight I seemed to be carrying off my shoulders.

Then I discovered college papers. These are difficult for almost everyone. However, I stressed about mine more than most people might. I'm not the type of person to outline a paper unless it is more than four or five pages. But, in college many professors require an outline. That made me nervous. Papers that were more than four or five pages made me nervous. Papers for classes that I didn't enjoy made me nervous. Everything about writing papers made me nervous. But I learned how to deal with that as well. That also took time, and it was also worth it. I learned, slowly, that I needed to take my time when writing papers, especially important ones. Soon enough, papers became my friend. They got easier and easier, which should have come as no surprise to me considering I'm an English writing major, but by the end of my freshmen year I was amazed at the progress I had made.

Going away to college taught me a lot of different things. I learned a lot in each of my classes, but I learned even more from the people I connected with. Whether it was professors or students, I learned a lot about others and even more about myself. But the most important thing my first year of college taught me was that it was imperative that I be upfront about my illness. Anxiety is a serious illness, and if more people were as open about it, it might not be so hard for those who suffer from it to talk about it or seek help. I can't stress enough: talk to people about your anxiety. You are not alone. There are many others that share the same anxious thoughts that you do. If you open up just a bit, you'll find them. So, always ask for help when you need it, and make it known when you're nervous or unsure about anything. Don't let anxiety beat you. I didn't, and it was the best decision of my life to fight it.