What Your Coffee Order Says About You | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

What Your Coffee Order Says About You

30
What Your Coffee Order Says About You

Every day, cup after cup, the realization sets in that you may have an actual, serious problem. Your caffeine dependence is slightly terrifying, but once you get your hands on a cup you go from a rude, crude, socially unacceptable non-morning person to chipper sorority recruitment chair/pageant contestant levels of friendliness. After that first sip you are AWAKE AND ALIVE AND EVERYTHING IS AWESOME AND YOU ARE GOoD TO gO UnTiL OH No iT’s 2p.m. and you are crashing. If you count yourself as a campus coffee-holic, then read on to discover what’s behind your daily grind!


Pumpkin Spice Latte 

Either PSL is the only kind you have ever heard of, or you drink one every single day in the fall. There is no in-between. Go ahead and embrace your “basic” stereotype as you sip on this delicious drink while wearing your comfiest yoga pants. Snap a picture for Instagram on your white iPhone so everyone can laugh at your misspelled name!


White Chocolate Mocha

You may be what they call “high maintenance,“ but your personality is sugary sweet, just like your favorite drink. You love to indulge in the finer things of life, and treating yourself to the sweetest concoction in the coffee shop is your perfect ending to an otherwise stressful day of online shopping.

Pour-over or French Press 

You are the original coffee snob. You want to know where your coffee beans are sourced from, the beans’ genetic history and what the weather was on the day this particular batch was harvested. You would rather drink dirt than instant coffee, and the best question to ask on the red carpet: Who are you drinking? You’re probably European or wish you were.

Chai - Let's get this straight, chai is not really coffee.

Do you even want to be in this coffee shop or are you playing along with your hyper-caffeinated friends? You probably mean well — maybe your friends all wanted lattes and you were just being a good sport, but to the line of addicts behind you shaking because they haven’t had their fix of the bean, you are the enemy. Go back to tea, where you really belong!


Espresso 

Straight caffeine. Your personality is efficient and to the point, and your resume describes you as “a real go-getter.” You are among the few that actually like the taste of coffee, and will probably be ruling the word in a few years. Bow down.

Side note: If you pronounce it as “EXpresso,” absolutely none of the above applies to you. Taylor Swift will probably write a nasty song about you one day.

Triple Shot Espresso

3x the productivity! You’ve probably been awake since the late 90s. You are most likely way too involved on campus or a student that’s been seriously procrastinating on their studying. Good luck and God bless.

Cafe Latte

Easygoing and dependable. You’re the most reliable of your friend group, also known as the “mom” of your crew. You go to coffee shops simply to enjoy the atmosphere and have long chats with your friends. It’s a special day when your usual latte comes with foam art, because it makes you feel #hipster and #artsy (when you are most likely neither of these).


Frappuccino

You claim to love coffee but really, you just love ice cream. You don’t let seasons dictate your life or stop you from getting your daily dose of Starbucks. When you’re feeling crazy, you get a mocha.


Black Coffee 

Black, like your soul. No frills here, as you are best described as a minimalist by your two best friends. It’s taken forever to give up those sweeteners and syrups, and people either judge or respect you for your coffee habits. Take pride as you sip that black bitterness, since you’re the one saving money in the long run.


Decaf 

Unless you have grandchildren or routinely wake up at dawn, there is no excuse for this abomination. Who are you? Why do you even drink it? How do you function without the caffeine?!


An IV Drip 

Hands-free, no withdrawals, and an unlimited supply. You’ve always said that coffee runs through your veins, and now you’re practicing what you preach. What could go wrong?

(Warning — never, EVER do this, as you will definitely end up in a hospital).


Cream & Sugar (with a little coffee) 

You’re a rookie when it comes to the world of discovering coffee and its endless combinations of creams, syrups, flavors, etc. One sip and your hands are shaking. You’re playing it safe with your taste buds now, but one day you may even venture out to the infamous PSL.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

565480
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

452282
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments