It’s that time of year again – college-bound seniors are joining their university’s Class of 2020 Facebook page in hopes to find the roommates of their dreams. 'Tis the season for awkward Facebook messages, endless hours of Instagram creeping, and nightmares of roommates from hell. To this senior, I say stop.
First of all, congratulations, you’re going to college and all of this prep, although overwhelming, is so exciting, I know. Picking a roommate is a big deal. I mean, it’s basically like online dating except you’re going to do everything backwards - move in with the person first, then meet his/her parents, and finally, you’ll really get to know him/her. But, then again, that’s college for you; a time where nothing really seems normal or to flow in the right direction. Except, the perfect roommate could change all of that for you, right? No. I am so sorry to tell you, but there is no such thing as a perfect roommate, there is close, but everyone has flaws. What’s important to remember is that you won’t see these flaws on a Facebook post. So, before signing your year away with your soul(room)mate, consider asking these questions:
Question 1: Do you think you will mind if people are in the room?
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It is going to be hard to admit that yes, you will mind if people are in your room all the time. No one wants to first come across as someone who hates people, but this is something a lot of people feel strongly about and can make or break good vibes between roommates. It’s okay if you want your room to be ‘your place,’ just try to find a roommate who feels the same way.
Question 2: Do you smoke?
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This means smoke anything. Smoking can leave smells in a room, can make the room smoky (duh), and can get messy. It also is a pretty big risk to have anything illegal in a dorm, especially drugs. So, if you aren’t a smoker, you absolutely could have an awesome roommate who is, but make sure you think about these things first.
Question 3: Are you a night or morning person? Are you a light/heavy sleeper?
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I put these together because you need the perfect combination of this for a roommate to be ideal. For example, my roommate and I now sometimes go days without seeing each other awake just because we have opposite schedules. But it works because she is such a heavy sleeper that I barely wake her up getting ready for morning classes, and, even though I’m a light sleeper, I go to bed early enough that by the time she comes in, I’m usually pretty deeply asleep.
Question 4: Do you like a lot of noise around?
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Now, first of all, it’s a dorm. There will always be noise, don’t be that person who constantly complains that your room is not silent. But, if you do appreciate some at least semi-quiet time to study or think, you probably shouldn’t room with the person who never turns her TV off because she “can’t sleep without the noise.”
Question 5: How comfortable are you with “special guests” spending the night?
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This goes along with the first question a bit because initially no one will want to be the person who acts like a killjoy before even meeting, but believe me, having one person thinking that is so much better than spending a year falling asleep angry on your common room couch because you were kicked out of you room again. Some people really hate sleeping anywhere but their own bed, or just really aren’t comfortable with the opposite sex being in their rooms. Have this talk ASAP, I would recommend it.
Question 6: Do you think you’ll go home/away a lot?
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For some people, having a roommate who goes home every weekend or visits her boyfriend every three days is awesome – having a room to your own can definitely be nice. But, other people would hate that. They like having the comfort of not being alone, they like to share stuff, and they like to have someone to come home to. This is something that everyone might not know before they get to school, but should definitely, at least, be talked about a little before deciding to room together.
Even if all these answers seem perfect, remember that doesn’t mean the person is perfect. Like I said before, this process is like dating. Sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s okay. Changing roommates is not the end of the world nor a traumatic experience like so many people believe it to be. I didn’t have a lot of these talks with my first roommate, and even though I think she is an amazing person, we just weren’t the right fit for living together, and now we’re both much happier living with people with whom we are better friends. But we get along, she never tried to kill me in my sleep, or steal all my stuff, so I really can’t complain.
Happy picking and I wish you and your future roommate all the happiness in the world.
