Dear ex-roommate,
“I’m so excited to be rooming with you this year.”
This was the biggest lie I ever told you since our journey began. It was the subject line of the email you received from me when we first obtained our roommate assignments last year; an email that I had only sent with a sliver of hope that you would email me back saying you weren’t actually coming to campus this year. Instead, I received your ecstatic reply and begrudgingly began to mentally prepare myself for another year silently ignoring a stranger’s obnoxious snoring at night, inability to keep their belongings on their side of the room, and unfortunate taste in rancid, intolerable food. Yes, you could say I came into this arrangement with a negative attitude and no positive outlook for the future.
On move-in day, I was too annoyed by the fact that you took the computer desk furthest away from the door to be grateful that you gave me the bottom bunk.
Throughout the school year, I was too aggravated by how often you slept to notice that you never complained when I came in at 3 a.m. after a night of far too much partying.
I never appreciated how you kept your cool even when I was aggravated and spit words at you like Elsa throwing ice shards.
As the year continued, I slowly quit talking to you, as I built up resentment for no rational reason. When I came back from work, classes, or just hanging out with friends, I would hate the fact that you were even in the room. I just wanted an hour without you around me: an hour to just unwind and be weird.
Now that I’ve had time to chill out, I just wanted to tell you, “I’m sorry.”
I’m sorry for thinking that I owned our shared living space. I’m sorry I never thanked you for being so calm and levelheaded around me. I’m sorry I let my stress get the better of my mood. I’m sorry I brought friends over without giving you warning. I’m sorry I never wanted to get food with you. I’m sorry I never asked if you wanted to get food with me. I’m sorry I never introduced you to my friends.
But most of all, I’m sorry I slept through my alarm for 20 minutes every morning before I woke up.
I should have never assumed the worst out of having a roommate and I’m sorry I never took the time to be a good friend, a good roommate, and a good person.
To everyone going into this school year with an assigned roommate, it’s normal to be apprehensive. For people like me, sharing a bathroom with your siblings was bad enough, but now I have to share a single room with a total stranger. Not only am I worried that they might get into my things, but I’m also worried about the judgments they might give me when they see how I act in the comfort of my own place. It’s easy to get frustrated with your roommate, but to have a clear conscious and a great friend, you have to work at this relationship and not just pretend they don’t exist.
