We're more than halfway through 2016 (yikes). Upon this, very scary, realization... I have decided to sit down and see what I have learned so far this year. Like many, before the new year starts I sit down and reflect on the year I've had and the year I want to have next. Well, I was determined to make 2016 "my year" but, isn't that my promise to myself every year? Some how I convinced myself that this year would be different (cue eye roll). 2016 was going to be my year, the year I finally lost weight, traveled, took up a hobby that doesn't involve lying in bed and reading for hours and finally fell in love. Well, it's August and I just spent 10 hours in bed finishing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child... So, that should about sum up how my year is going. But, in my failures of losing weight, falling in love, and getting out of bed, I have learned a lot too. This year has become a year of realizations for me, and without failing how would I have had these realizations? So, here are a few realizations I have had:
1. You can't change people, learn to accept that
You have no control over anyone but yourself. No matter how much you wish someone will change their perspective, actions, or words, they won't. You can't make someone nicer, you can't force anyone to be happier, and you definitely can't expect someone to change their perspective just to please you. They are who they for a lot of different reasons, and who are you to try and change that? This lesson is one that I still have to remember daily, if not hourly. It's hard, it's frustrating, but you can't change anyone who doesn't want to change themselves. All you can do is strive to be a better you.
2. Falling in love isn't the end all be all
I know that society, the media, and even our family wants us to all fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, guess what? Falling in love isn't the most important thing in life and doesn't dictate ones worth. If you're in a healthy and happy relationship, I'm happy for you! But, I'm not and that is perfectly OK. I don't need to be set up by one of your boyfriends friends every weekend and I certainly don't need to be asked about my love life is going every minute of every day. When it happens it will happen, and you know what... Maybe it won't, and that too is perfectly OK because I'm not willing to settle for any less than what I deserve.
3. It's OK to have anxiety
Have you ever been told not to be anxious? Or been told to calm down, don't worry, or smile? Me too, and you know what, that is not OK. I am allowed to feel anxious. I am allowed to be worried, stressed, and even sad. Just because someone else doesn't understand, doesn't make it wrong. This year I have learned to accept that I have anxiety. I have done a lot of research on ways to help my anxiety and have learned a lot about myself through this. Most importantly, I have learned how to manage it so that it doesn't consume my life.
4. Being "beautiful" by societal standards isn't necessary
Thin may be in by societal standards, but guess what? Not everyone can be a double 0. Growing up I envied 00 girls, put myself down, and even ended up with a binge eating disorder just trying to be thin. Although I still struggle with binge eating, I have learned that there is a lot more to love about myself than how much I weight or the size of my jeans. So instead, lately I have been trying to be healthier. Drinking more water and less soda, getting outside and rollerblading, and even eating more fruits and veggies. Making these healthier habits has made me feel healthier and more energized, therefore making me feel better about myself. And please, please remember... There are a lot of genetic, hormonal dysfunctions, and diseases that make it harder or near impossible for individuals to lose weight. Criticizing someone's weight is never OK.
5. Show people you love them
When my great-grandma Brindle died in spring of 2012, we found a note she had left behind. It has stayed with me until this day, at the end she wrote, "give me love". Simple and straight to the point. Showing people that you love them and giving your love to them isn't easy, after all we all show and perceive love differently, The 5 Love Languages quiz taught us that. Don't take the time that you have with your loved ones for granted, hold them a little closer, squeeze them a little tighter, and give them your love.
6. Life goes on
Relationships end, friendships break, and people hurt us... But life goes on. Dwelling and reliving hurtful happenings cause more harm than good. The best thing to do is pick up the pieces and move on. I know it's hard, but it will be OK.
So, there you have it... The lessons 2016 has taught me so far. Love yourself, go on adventures, and give love!
