After my 18th birthday, I began writing a list on my phone of the biggest lessons I’ve learned the last 18 years of my life. I am not claiming to be an expert on life but I can tell you that these are things I think anyone can learn from.

1. Some friends are temporary and that’s okay.

It’s okay to realize that someone isn’t bettering you anymore and to move on from that friendship. The worst thing you can do for yourself is remaining in a toxic friendship out of fear. Seasons of your life will come and go and you’ll soon realize that not everyone is going to fit into every season. There will be people who come into your life for a purpose - whether it be good or bad and then move on. Take the lessons you’ve learned from those people, don’t take them for granted, and move forward. Focus on bettering yourself and remember that not every one you lose is a loss.

2. This world is full of a lot of hurt.

In my short eighteen years of life, I have experienced an abnormal amount of hurt and pain. I have experienced things that no teenager should and lived a life that broke my own heart sometimes. This life is valuable and energizing and joyful sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy all the time. This world is so unbelievably broken and everyone learns soon enough how it can affect them personally. Don’t live in fear because you are afraid of the world hurting you. Live in freedom because you know that you are protected by the Creator of all things good.

3. Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to take as much time as you need to understand them. I have struggled for years, questioning myself and God on the timing of my healing heart. I am still waiting for that day to come where I all of a sudden feel better. But I've learned that change won’t come suddenly to you in the middle of the night. You will not wake up one day and feel like all the hurt you’ve experienced has suddenly vanished. I have learned that this is a painful part of life, and to let myself feel those emotions.

4. If you’re not in love with it, move on.

Far too often do people stick with something that they are not in love with. Whether it be a person, or a job, or a sport - whatever - if you are not waking up every day excited to do that thing or be with that person, you have every single right to move on from it. You owe zero explanations to anyone. If you are not in love with your life, make that change, because everyone deserves to be in love with their life.

5. Be spontaneous.

I have learned that I am a gal of adventure. Learn to listen to that little voice inside of you telling you to adventure and be spontaneous. Don’t let yourself live in a box solely because it is the safe bet to make. I have learned that stepping out of your comfort zone always makes for something great. Spontaneity comes in many forms and if you feel the urge to do something radical, don’t let your mind stop you. All it takes is twenty seconds of insane courage.

6. Don’t be a doormat.

Do not let anyone walk all over you. I let people do this to me for so long when I was younger and I finally realized that I am my own person and I have the right to have my voice heard. I am no less of a person than the popular girls or the cool guys. I deserve to stand up for myself without something thinking I am making a radical move by doing so. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are and what you need to be. Have a backbone. Don’t let someone think they can walk all over you.

7. Eat the damn cupcake.

Body insecurity is something that every girl struggles with at some point in her life. In the culture we are nurturing, we are teaching young girls that you have to have the right amount of curves and you can’t be a little on the thick side to be a cover model. I say screw beauty standards and eat the damn cupcake. Far too often, I have turned down a treat because of the way I think others will think of me… over a stupid cupcake. Stop worrying so much about what others think of your body and do what makes you feel good.

8. Don’t be afraid to try.

People let opportunities and new adventures pass them by out of fear all the time. Fear only exists in your head. Even if you fail, you will never know what the outcome could’ve been had you not tried. If you want something, go for it. Don’t turn an opportunity away because of that fear. Let yourself take that risk because so many good things can come out of an unexpected “yes”. Let yourself say yes to the things you normally wouldn’t and watch how much your life can change. Failing is okay, as long as you learned from your mistakes.

9. Be secure in your insecurities.

Confidence is a game changer. It has taken me so long to realize that I don’t need to conceal what makes me beautiful. Stand firm in what makes you different. There are so many nasty people in the world that will make an effort to tear you down, but let your confidence be your shield. Don’t let someone allow you to doubt yourself or make you feel like you aren’t good enough. You were created by the King of all things. He looks at the mountains and the oceans and thinks that you surpass them all in beauty. That's pretty rad.

10. Life is full of mistakes that you’ll learn from.

I have learned so many things the hard way. I would make a choice in the moment, to only find out later that it was the wrong one. Do not let that stop you from pushing forward. Take the mistakes you’ve made and use them to your advantage. Let them teach you about choices to make in the future. My mistakes have taught me so much about myself as a person, and I now know myself better in order to make the right choices later on. Don’t be ashamed of the mistakes you’ve made - whether it be getting drunk at some party or choosing the wrong college - because it will all help you later in life.

11. If it won’t matter in a month, stop worrying about it now.

This is something that I am still continuing to learn today. I am a huge worrier and I worry about the smallest things. Let me tell you this: if whatever you are worrying about will not matter to you in a month, stop stressing so much over it. It is so cliche but I promise you that everything happens for a reason. Don’t stress so much over something that was inevitable in the first place. Try your best, but don’t let something so small consume every part of you.

12. You can be both pretty and smart and neither discredits the other.

Today’s world teaches young girls in particular that you can’t be both pretty and smart. News flash: it’s total BS. I can wear something that makes me look good and I can still carry myself well in society. As much as I love indulging in those movies that support those stereotypes, it’s important to remember that in reality - you can be whatever you want to be. The connection people make between being pretty and being dumb is a complete lie. Being a girly girl in no way makes you stupid, and we need to stop believing the lie that it is truth.

13. Be selfish.

Growing up you are taught to put others before yourself. I say believe the opposite. I’m not telling you to shove others off to the side, but it’s important for you to take care of yourself and your needs before anyone else’s, and this is something I wish I knew much earlier in life. It is important to show love and care for others, but if you don’t do that to yourself first, you are completely missing the point. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. A good friend of mine once told me, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” It’s okay to want to be selfish sometimes. Make sure you are loving yourself enough before you love others. Without loving yourself first, you’ll ultimately drain out eventually.

14. You’ll never realize how much you love your hometown until you leave it.

I was the person that couldn’t wait to get out of high school so I could leave my hometown and start a new adventure in a completely different setting. I wish that someone had told me that I would miss it more than anything when I would leave. I was so eager for college and to start a new season of my life. I didn’t even think twice about leaving my town behind me. Homesickness is normal for a new college kid, but I missed my hometown way more than I thought I would.

15. Listen to your mom.

This one is something I wish I had learned in 6th grade. It took me seven years to finally learn that your mom knows exactly what she is talking about. You may think she is just being overprotective and annoying but chances are she knows what she's talking about. She notices fake friends long before you do, she knows what looks good and what doesn’t, and she knows exactly what will hurt you when you may not notice it in the moment. Mother knows best. I cannot tell you how unbelievably true this is. I wish I had listened to my mom more in middle and high school because I could have saved myself from a lot of heartache.

16. Always make time for Jesus.

I still struggle every single day to make time for Jesus. For a long time, it seemed to me like it was more of an obligation than a need or a want. I would continuously push off spending time with Jesus and then wonder later why I was feeling so empty. It is so important to spend time with our Creator. I still have to remind myself of this daily and even still I ignore myself often. You need that intimacy with the Lord in order to see any growth come from yourself and your relationship with Him. Seek to spend time with God. It is challenging but so worth it every time.

17. Do not define yourself by numbers.

Whether it be numbers on a scale or the amount of money in your bank account or how many followers you have or the number of likes you get on a picture - it is so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and shows no reflection of the person you are on the inside. Focus more on making your heart better than trying to impress everyone with your Instagram feed. It’s not worth it. Your self-worth is something that only you can determine. It is not something that can be measured numerically.

18. It is okay to not be okay sometimes, but it’s not okay to stay not okay.

One of my greatest friends told me this once and I haven’t forgotten it. It is okay to not have it all together. It’s okay to have your life be a mess. It’s okay to not be okay and to wallow in your sadness. But the one thing that is not okay, is staying in that space. Let yourself cry it out and be upset. Once you’re done, pick yourself up and start over. There is never a bad time to start new and reinvent yourself. Don’t let yourself stay broken and sad. Allow yourself to recognize your feelings, and then do whatever it is you need to do to make yourself feel better.

I have learned so much in my short eighteen years of life. I know that I still have a lot to learn - I am only eighteen. I haven’t experienced all that God has for me yet. But I do know that these are things that even seventeen-year-old Hannah would’ve loved to know.