Entering high school is always an exhilarating moment. For some, it’s a chance to reevaluate or rebuild themselves. I, myself, saw high school as just an extension of middle school, as middle school relocated to another building. My middle school years weren’t the best. When I entered sixth grade, my so-called "friends" from elementary school had formed their own cliques and I was just left to myself. Throughout middle school, I developed an impenetrable membrane, so to speak. I kept to myself, I trusted no one, and over a period of time the membrane grew stronger and stronger and became like an indestructible force field. As we know, however, nothing’s indestructible.
As I walked through the halls of West Feliciana High School for the first time, I saw familiar faces. Faces I had seen every year since elementary. I went to my first class, English, where I became familiar with how high school classes functioned, which convinced me that my next four years of high school would be similar to my middle school years. Once the class ended, I grabbed my book sack and headed to the door, prepared to face a continuation of West Feliciana Middle. As soon as I walked out of the door, I saw her.
She was a sight to heal bleeding eyes. Her hair was like silk and never looked less than perfect, whether she wore it straight, curly, or styled another way. She had smooth skin, bright, like the morning sun. She could have easily been a super model. As I passed her in the hall, I thought, She’s new. Although many say you can’t judge a book by its cover, I like to consider myself the exception to the rule. I can observe individuals and form a pretty accurate mental perception of them. When I saw her, I perceived her to be nice, caring, cheerful, and slightly goofy. Seeing her for the first time, I thought, She seems cool, but being somewhat antisocial, I just walked by without conversation or introduction. The next few days I began to understand my teachers and how they ran class. I had no classes with this mystery girl, but I would see her in the hall every now and then. Someone, I don’t remember exactly who told me her name, Felicia. Now, I never believed in love at first sight (and to this day I still don’t), so when I saw her that first time, and times after, I saw her outward appearance and saw that she was very beautiful, though at that point, she was just a random pretty girl. Most guys by now would have talked to her and attempted to get her cell phone number, but I was a bit shy in this sort of situation, so every time I saw her, I just walked by.
One day I was walking from P.E. and in a bit of a hurry to get to Algebra I, so much of a hurry, I slipped going up the stairs. As I tripped and caught myself, I heard a laugh behind me. I looked back, and there she was. When she caught up with me, she apologized for having laughed and explained that her day hadn’t been going so well and that my comedic fall had amused her. “That made my day!," she said.
That was our first introduction, and at the time I thought it would probably be the last time we’d talk. Not much later, though, club day arrived and we both happened to show up for the theatre club meeting around the same time. Then, afterward, we talked a bit. Immediately following was a chess club meeting, and to my surprise, she walked through the door just as I had vanquished my chess opponent, Michael Mebruer. When she reached our desk, I asked if she wanted to play and she said yes. Again I was surprised: She beat me, but then lost to Michael. Once chess club started meeting every day, during lunch, we became chess buddies. We played each other every day, and over a period of time we got to know each other in between chess moves. As I learned more about her personality, I learned that my first perception was correct. Eventually I began to “fall for her.”
By word of mouth, I learned that she had a boyfriend, so I figured pursuing anything further than a friendship would be futile.
Closer to the end of the year, our theatre department put on a musical production, "RENT." I was operating the lights and sound for the rehearsals while the usual technician was in surgery and recovery. Then, a few rehearsals before opening night, the technician returned, and someone brought in a professional audio technician, so I didn’t have too much to keep me occupied. I happened to notice that Felicia was at the rehearsal, watching the actors repeat the same mistakes. So I met up with her and we set out in search of a chess board. When we couldn’t find one, we started walking around the outside of the auditorium, talking, skipping rocks, and passing the time. Shortly after, I learned that she was moving away at the end of the year, and it saddened me that she wouldn’t be a part of my sophomore year at West Feliciana.
As the end of our freshman year drew near, we agreed to keep in touch through Facebook. When she left, I noticed that she had changed her relationship status. She had broken up with her boyfriend; I figured they couldn’t deal with a long distance relationship. Tenth grade year came quicker that I thought it should have, and she wasn’t there. I missed her greatly.
Time passed, and Felicia and I kept in contact through Facebook, as senior year rolled around slower than I had wished. After three years, one would think that the feelings I had tried to suppress in ninth grade would have dissolved, but they hadn’t. Meantime, this guy, Jalen Brown, who was in many of my classes throughout high school, found it peculiar that I had never dated. He began to question whether I had feelings toward anyone. I normally dismissed the questions, but after a while I admitted that there was one girl. That was probably a mistake, because he began pestering me to reveal who she was. Eventually I gave in because I figured it really didn’t matter anymore. I told him she was Felicia, whom he remembered from chess club. Of course, this information did not silence him. He then began pressuring me to tell her how I felt. Now, this took a lot longer for me to give in, but I finally did. One day while in class, I texted her. I explained my feelings and waited for a response. I was so anxious that it seemed like the year 2014 had rolled along before she responded, but when she did, her response was not one to brighten my day. She explained that she was flattered but still had feelings for her previous boyfriend (from ninth grade). Although her rejection did hurt a bit, it was what I had expected.
I thought that was the end of it. We still kept in contact (more so through text since I now had an iPhone), but she completely surprised me right before second semester, when she returned.
