In the last few months, my relationship with a man whom I thought I loved came to an end. At one point in our relationship he had given me a ring that he bought in another country while he was deployed. It was not meant to be an engagement ring or anything like that, but it was still supposed to mean something. When we broke up, I was saddened that I would have to stop wearing my ring. After all, it was a symbol of our relationship and our commitment to each other and now those things are gone. After we were no longer together, he told me he wanted me to keep the jewelry he had given to me—because he still cared about me. How dare he break my heart then have the nerve to say he still cared about me? No way was I going to keep this jewelry, let alone continue to wear it! Who does that? Apparently I do. Yes, we are no longer together. No, I do not love him anymore. But you know what? This ring will always mean something.
This ring is beautiful and a strong reminder. It is a reminder that I once loved, truly. It may not have been as big and as strong of a love as I once thought, but I did truly love someone. It is a reminder of the eight months I spent being strong while he was deployed. I became such a strong person in the time he was gone, and in the time since our relationship ended. I have now done things and gotten through things I never thought I was capable of, and this ring reminds me of that. I have made myself proud, and that’s something worth remembering.
My ring also reminds me that it’s okay to not yet have a “soulmate.” I have all the time in the world to fall in love and it doesn’t have to be a priority. I have so many other things going on in my life and I’m just now coming into who I really want to be. I need to focus on myself and what other things I want to do with my life before worrying about reasons why I shouldn’t be wearing this ring. In all reality though, I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone. I want to wear this ring? That’s my decision and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or has to say, as long as I’m happy with my decision.
Okay, but why do I still wear it on my left ring finger? Well, honestly, it doesn’t fit on any other finger. It fits this finger perfectly without him ever asking my ring size or having it fitted. I used to think that was a sign that we were meant to be together. But maybe it just means I was meant to have a reminder; a reminder that I’m an amazingly strong person who can do and survive so much.
Surely, someday, I will take my ring off for the last time, but until then, it’s something I feel I need and want. It’s just a bonus that it’s beautiful.
