It’s that time of year again when college kids head home to detox from the copious amounts of Adderall they consumed during finals week.

They’ve been dreaming about their first meal home like it’s Jesus’ Last Supper while Yolanda pours all of their belongings into the washing machine. The hype of being home, once everything has been documented on Snapchat or Instagram with a “we back” caption, soon starts to fade and you realize other people have daily schedules such as an occupation or school.

The closest thing you have to a schedule is the one on daytime television, and watching re-runs of Full House is about as fulfilling as Bob Saget’s acting career after the show ended.

While you’re out running errands, you’re definitely going to bump into your mom’s friends. When this catches you off guard and you don’t have enough time to take a picture of them and send it to your mom asking what their names are, don’t panic because they probably don't know yours either and will refer to you as “Cheryl’s kid who’s away at college.”

Your dad wants to know when you’re coming home, not so he can surprise you with a new car or puppy, but so he knows which days to schedule the cable guy/plumber/contractor/maintenance/etc., between the hours of 12-6. Don’t worry, he’ll tell you after he schedules them when you need to be home this way any plans you had in mind can accommodate waiting around for a guy who will come 2-3 hours late with an overly exposed butt crack.

You’re obviously picking up your younger sister or brother from school, but it’s okay because you roll up to the carpool line blasting music just like your friends’ cool older siblings did when they picked their siblings up.

Did you wanna pick up the ingredients for dinner tonight? Doesn’t matter because you’re going to pick up the ingredients for dinner tonight.

Your younger sibling is doing all the shit you did, but they’re getting away with it.

Sometimes you’re just forgotten about because your family has become so used to you just not being around.

And don't forget to walk the dog.

But anything our parents ask of us, we're happy to do because it's the only way we can return the favor of paying our tuition giving us the gift of life.