New York: the city that is just as beautiful as it is strange. On any given street corner, you can find a coffee shop with a specific and obscure theme or an art gallery that only showcases photographs of earlobes. Of course, all of these places are magical and fun and so enjoyable, but I think that I have found the one place that beats your street art galleries or hidden corners of Central Park. That's right, I'm talking about the Museum of Sex.
My friend and I have had this trip planned for months. We went to New York back in August but were not allowed in because some idiot — me — forgot her state ID. You do have to be 18 to get into the museum and they will ask you for a passport or a driver's license when you arrive, so pro tip for you all: remember some form of identification that is not your student ID. However, in September, we had the opportunity to go to the city again and you better believe that I remembered my license this time.
The entrance of the museum is their gift shop and it's basically like XXX Christmas. My friend and I had a ball bouncing around the store and picking up and commenting on everything from the presidential candidate condoms to the vintage books and magazines to the suggestive drinkware. Eventually, we both decided to buy a pair of socks each — I won't tell you what they said, but they're my new favorite article of clothing — and some magnets and notepads. If you want to browse their store, check out the MoSex store online.
After we were done shopping, we checked our bags and went into the actual museum. The first exhibit that we were bombarded with was called "Hardcore: A Century and a Half of Obscene Imagery" and let me tell you, it lived up to its name. A name like that clearly indicates that I can't post pictures from the exhibit, but I can say that it was an experience like no other. It was educational as well as historical like most museums are, but because the subject matter was sex. I was snickering like an 11-year-old boy who was learning anatomy for the first time every time that I looked at a new picture, video or artifact; it was hilarious and amazing. We had the opportunity to look at old photographs, videos, cartoons and even drawings. I know that I'm being ambiguous, but try and imagine what we saw. I guarantee that what you're thinking of probably isn't all that far off.
Next, we went to "Splendor in the Grass: Kinesthetic Camp Ground" and I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't really understand this one. There were different tents that focused on different senses. The first one had a mound of synthetic grass shaped into a woman and you were supposed to kneel in front of the "woman" and feel her, I guess. It just made me feel like I was kneeling in front of a dead body at a wake and paying my respects until I heard the grass woman whisper, "Come closer" and I yelped and ran out of the tent. There was another tent that was completely dark except for a strobe light and smoke streaming in that smelled like a campfire. My friend and I had a rave in the strobe light tent and moved on to the next one. The last tent that we tried changed color based on how attracted to each other we were, but I think that it was just measuring the heat and sweat coming off of our bodies because we were dancing pretty hard in the rave tent.
This led us to the next exhibit entitled, "The Sex Lives of Animals," and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. Think of an animal, any animal. The animal that you're thinking of was probably featured in the exhibit. We learned about dolphins, monkeys, pandas, otters and snakes, among others. For my fellow Fairfield students, I discovered an entirely new, ironic and fantastic meaning to the phrase "go Stags" ...
Our visit was quickly coming to a close, but not before we hit the last two exhibits. The next room that we went into was "OBJECTXXX: Selected Artifacts from the Museum of Sex Archive." It contained pieces of past exhibits that were too good or iconic to be put back in storage. There was a bike with a little something extra that people could actually ride and some interesting tools were on display as well as masks and stuffed animals. Do with that what you will.
Lastly, there was the bouncy castle, the crown jewel of MoSex. Its official name is "Jump for Joy" and it's a bouncy castle of giant breasts. It costs $3 extra and you're only allowed in for two minutes but it is 100 percent worth it. As soon as my friend and I stepped in, I sat down and was engulfed by a breast; literally engulfed. There are pictures and they are hilarious. All in all, "Jump for Joy" gets a 10 out of 10 in my book.
My friend and I left the Museum of Sex as changed women. Was it informative? Yes. Was it hilarious? Yes, but only because we're mentally immature. Would I recommend it? Yes, everyone should go as soon as humanly possible.
The Museum of Sex is located at 233 Fifth Avenue in New York City. There is a discount for students if you show your student ID, as well as a state ID. Buy tickets online here.
