wom·an·hood /ˈwo͝omənˌho͝od/: the qualities considered to be natural to or characteristic of a woman.

“Who is this who looks down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awesome as an army with banners?" (Song of Solomon 6:10)

There’s been a lot of talk around campus lately about gender roles, and what the difference between a man and a woman is, and how do we relate this to a Christian worldview? This is something that is actually near and dear to my heart, so I wanted to do a few articles on some thoughts I have on this topic. I in no way want to shove my opinions down anyone’s throat, but I also wanted to share some of my reflections on things I’ve found in scripture, or that I’ve noticed happening around me and fuse the two together. So here’s the question: what is a woman, and more importantly, what separates her from a man? Living in this generation of “millennials” may possibly be one of the most confusing times to exist as a female. There is more pull on females today to fit a certain mold of womanhood than there has probably ever been (which is extremely ironic because this is supposed to be one of the most freeing and expressive times for women in history with all of the push for equal rights). However, the call to fit a sexual, physical, and intellectually free and diverse role according to our society has become more oppressive than liberating. The very act of redefining genders, and breaking down the characteristics we associate with them, just adds to the mix of a whole host of already traumatizing things a girl can go through while she is trying to figure herself out. When we give up our defining traits as a woman, we are not gaining anything because (*bold statement alert*) we are giving people more power today to rule over us, by fighting what we were created to be, than we ever did when we had almost none of the rights we do today.

We preach equality and want to have the same freedoms as men, and become powerful, but in reality, there is nothing stopping us from doing that right now with what we already have. Yet we ask for more when we really have all we need. The women before us laid out a path that has benefited us greatly. It won us our place in modern society. I can now vote, receive higher education or own property. I can own a business or even become the president if I wanted to, but our new forms of feminism place us back in the hold of bondage that we have spent all of this time trying to pull ourselves out of. Instead of teaching women that we are a prize with value that is deserving of a man who will prove his love and loyalty to her, we teach our youth that virginity is a social construct -- one that is formed by the patriarchy to hold women back from living in their full potential as physical beings. That there is no shame in uncovering their bodies because it is just that -- a body. So who cares? From your body you derive pleasure, and pleasure is good. These are supposed to be "freeing ideas" of fourth-wave feminism, but they don’t free us. They break young girls down and hurt them more than I could ever try and express here. Addictions and mental disorders of all forms are higher statistically now than ever before. Eating disorders, pornography, alcoholism and depression continue to take hold of us, so I ask the question: with all of this push for the liberation of women, why are we continually being put deeper and deeper into bondage?

It's because we all have a root desire to be loved and cherished (whether we would like to admit it or not). The pull on young girls to be approved of and seen as beautiful is a defining factor in their development. Alongside this, there is now the push for them to explore themselves and express their sexuality and femininity in a physical way at such a young age, and these two things do not mix well. It forces girls to go to great lengths to receive approval from their peers and to accomplish the impossible task of achieving someone else's standards. But they can't, and this can be confusing on many deep and hurtful levels because society’s answers on how to be a woman, or a "non-woman," or just how to be happy and free in general, simply aren’t true. The things we have chosen to pursue as a society/culture aren’t fulfilling; in fact, they are some of the most human and temporary things we could probably worry about, but we treat them as really big and important problems and invest so much time and energy into solving them. But how about instead of trying to break down the structure of what it is to be a woman, we try and build it up?

From the beginning, God had a beautiful intention for women that wasn’t like this at all. There was no hopeless searching, no confusion, no struggle to attain to something.

"The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22-23

Let’s refocus on what’s important. From the get-go, Adam was prepared and ready to accept Eve as his own body, as part of himself. This was a level of intimacy and closeness that we can't even breach with a modern day progressive mindset because we are so predisposed to individuality. But imagine what that must have been like, to have come into existence, already loved, already cherished and already valued, without having to fight to be worth it all. Her relational function as a human was fulfilled. She was created in God's own image. His imprint was on Eve, and she was loved dearly by God. She was created equal to Adam, to work alongside him, and remain close to him, under his arm -- his helper. She didn't have to force her sexuality on Adam or try and equate hers to his. They just were, and it was innocent and pure. Not only this, but her purpose was fulfilled. Eve was created in God's image, she was given a capacity for intelligent thinking, to create things, to love well and to nurture. She could make things and help teach her children and others, and maybe even build or help farm alongside her husband. And with Adam, they were both taken from the same image of the same God. There is no distinction between them in this. Even the sentiment "bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh" calls for equality. They were made of the same things, and came from the same earth and loved in the same way. And this is where true freedom in sexuality stems from oneness. Free of shame and guilt, and it is not self-validating.

So where is the distinction between them? God created us, man and woman, with the same powers and abilities, but also gave us different functions, which you can either accept as a limitation or as extremely beautiful. I choose the latter. God created women with the incredible capability of nurturing the growth of a human being within them. Never will anyone ever experience that same form of closeness as one does with his or her mother. The kind of closeness in which you can hear the heart beating from inside of someone. The kind of closeness a mother gets to develop with her child is a blessing and a miracle. The sentiment "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" echoes back through the ages as each mother gets to cradle her child in her arms, a tiny reflection of the love that has been consummated, and she understands that she has a very important role to play in this world. One that no one else can for her. Women have been put in the unique position to effect and build up society from the source -- her home. To raise up children in the ways that they should go, and pass down the truth for generations to come.

But even beyond this, a woman’s chief purpose is not to be married. That’s not officially her role in life; she’s called to serve others in whatever way she can (like all Christians). Jesus' disciples included many women (most likely unmarried), which was unprecedented in that day and age among rabbis, and he even encouraged their discipleship as something that was needed more than domestic service. Not to mention his first disclosure of himself being the Messiah was to an unmarried Samaritan woman. Women were the last ones left at His crucifixion and the first ones at His tomb. Jesus had always shown the utmost respect for women, and it was shown throughout the early church history that women had much more to offer than simply married life. The Bible's focus has never been on shaming women or trying to hold them back, but it works towards building them up. It strengthens women by showing the truth of who they were meant to be, because it is the divine inspiration of God, and who would understand women better than their creator? It equates us to pillars, as structures of support and reliability, whose strength can only be matched by her exquisiteness.

"12 May our sons in their youth
be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars
cut for the structure of a palace;" Psalm 144:12

Sometimes, I believe we as women see our gender as a handicap --that it is holding us back from reaching our full potential. But when we try and force things, when we try to become something we are not, and fight what we have been created to be, we end up creating false truths for ourselves. We think things are benefiting us, when in actuality, they are hurting us, and we fall victim to our power struggle. There is something to be said about a woman who takes on her role in society with dignity and grace, who seeks out a life of virtue but is humble enough to see that no one, no thing and no social system will ever be perfect. A woman who sees she has been greatly blessed with her freedoms (and rightfully so), but that just because of this, she doesn't need to become anything more beyond what she is naturally. A woman who speaks her mind and who lines herself up with the truth seeks it out and will defend it -- not for herself alone, but for the benefit of others so that she can help them and show them Christ. I think there is something to be said about anyone who does those things, man or woman. There is a set truth out there, and I will leave you to your personal reflections to seek it out. But I believe in the beautiful art, and the master plan, that is man and woman.